Name: Zackary Stacy Sr. City: Ocoee, Florida | Instagram: @zstacy_
What does being a father mean to you?
Describe your experience with your father growing up and how that impacted you today.
The experience with my father growing up was awesome. I practically was his little Pokemon… following him everywhere he went & imitating everything he did whether it was from going fishing with him or crying together when Alabama beat Auburn in the Iron Bowls. My dad was great whenever he was present of course. My parents got divorced before I was ten years old so that changed & challenged my childhood tremendously both positive and negative. Nonetheless , I took on the man of the house role in a single parent home & it hindered me emotionally. Although my father’s absent was challenging, I was introduced to my inner child and we have been exploring a-lot together mentally and emotionally for the last 5 years. Those conversations with each other were uncomfortable yet necessary & productive. As a result, it allowed me to be in a space of gratitude and appreciation for my father’s absent.
What things/tools/gems did you take from your experience growing up into your Fatherhood journey today?
Now that I’m older now, I understand now that people go through stuff in life everyday including my father. He by any means wasn’t perfect but when he was present.. he was present and him being there meant a lot to me as a kid. However, I think the biggest asset I had from my childhood was my father’s absent. It for sure taught what not to do unfortunately but one of the biggest moments I remember as a child , was when I made a vow to myself. As a devout Harry Potter fan, there is a vow in the book/movie … called THE UNBREAKABLE VOW … basically if you break it … you die. Thats how I treated the vow I made … which was that I will never … not matter how it looked … leave my child.
Have you had any obstacles on your fatherhood journey? If so, explain.
Yes I did. I think as humans we have moments we wish we could have back or some type of rewind button to fix mistakes. I experienced that moment back in November of 2021. A video of me abusing the mother of my child surfaced in the media & it’s a moment that still haunts me today. My actions were inexcusable, unjustifiable & simply wrong. Despite losing relationships , communities , & opportunities , the biggest L was losing and missing precious moments with my son. I missed everything; missed his first birthday … Christmas .. Thanksgiving ..his first steps .. first words. Although his absence in my life was temporary, my son was my strength throughout the hardships & I’m grateful where my feet are today. I’ve put in the work & will continue to put in the work mentally & emotionally to be the best human & father I can be and to have the opportunity to create new moments with him …. that’s a blessing.
What advice would you give other Fathers on their journey?
If you could write a quick letter to your father, starting with “Dear Father,” what would you say?
It’s been a while since we spoke , and I hope this letter finds you well. I always laugh looking back as a child , and the only thing I remember was being glued to your hip, everywhere you went I was there like a parrot on your shoulders. Those moments were so appreciative because your grandson son does the same thing. Although your absence was devastating , I hold no negative light towards you .. you wasn’t perfect and I most definitely wasn’t asking you to be. However , as I got older and wiser , I realized the impact from your absence was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. It put me in a role that may have hindered me emotionally as a skillset , but I’m grateful that I learned the difference between a daddy and a father. Although It’s still a work in process during this transitional period , but I’m so proud to be father and looking forward continuing the unconditional love , guidance & wisdom that I learned from you indirectly and for that Pop … I appreciate you.
Happy Fathers Day.
With Much Respect & Love
Your Son.
