Main photo: Peter Yang
From comedian, Emmy-nominated writer and producer, and former Daily Show correspondent Roy Wood Jr., an unforgettable, laugh-out-loud funny memoir revealing that sometimes the best advice comes from the most surprising teachers.
When Roy Wood Jr. held his baby boy for the first time, he was relieved that his son was happy and healthy, but he felt a strange mix of joy and apprehension. Roy’s own father, a voice of the civil rights movement in Birmingham, Alabama, had passed away when Roy was sixteen. There were gaps in the lessons passed down from father to son and, holding his own child, Roy wondered: Have I managed to fill in those blanks, to learn the lessons I will one day need to teach my boy?
So Roy looked back to determine who had taught him lessons throughout his life and which he could pass down to his son. Some of his father figures were clear, like a colorful man from Philadelphia navigating life after prison, who taught Roy the value of having a vision for his life, or his fellow comedians, who showed him what it took to make it as a working stand-up performer. Others were less obvious, from the teenage friends who convinced him to race “leaf boats” carrying lit matches in the middle of a drought to a drug-addicted restaurant colleague who played hoops while Roy scoured dirty dishes to big names in Hollywood, like Trevor Noah, and more.
In The Man of Many Fathers, Roy shares what he’s learned with humor and heart, delivering the most memorable lessons, such as how to channel anger through a more successful outlet (hint: never ever try to outfox a single mom), how not to get caught snitching (hint: never snitch), and how to become a good man—and a good dad (hint: listen to your fathers).
CHECK OUT OUR INTERVIEW WITH ROY BELOW
Tell us more about your new book “The Man of Many Fathers” and the meaning behind it?
The book is about the many people who came in and out of my life in the years after my father passed when I was sixteen, and the lessons I learned from them. I wanted this book to be an emotional and humorous account of how the foundations of my values were built — all in an effort to help my son better understand not only me, but himself one day.
Describe the impact your dad had on your life and what that still means to you today?
He set out to be a good person and to help Black people, and I hope that when a book is written about me one day, it says I did the same.
Any advice to someone seeking a father figure, but don’t know where to start?
I think it’s much easier to seek wisdom than it is to seek manhood. If there’s someone you respect in your social orbit, ask them questions about the advice they’ve received — and inherently, you start from a place of them passing that advice down to you, even if it’s subconscious.
Top 3 takeaways you want your readers to get from your new book?
- In order to forgive, both parties must be willing to change.
2. You can’t love going forward if you’re still holding on to hate from your past.
3. Keep your eyes and ears open at all times — we never know the ways in which God is sending us our messengers.
Who is Roy Woods Jr. as a father?
I try my best to be realistic with my son about the highs and lows of life — that growth is about perseverance. Learning how to fail, how to bounce back from failure, and more importantly how to learn from it — those lessons are paramount.
As someone who looked back to think of all of the life lessons passed down to you, what are 3 lessons you want your kids to remember that you’ve taught them?
You’ll always be worth more from your neck up than you will be from your neck down.
Anger solves zero problems — at best, it might help you execute a solution, but it never creates one.
How do you balance your career as an author, comedian, and more while striving to be the best father you can be to your kids?
I believe we oscillate between three plants we have to water: fatherhood, career, and personal life. If you have a spouse or partner, sometimes they become a fourth plant.
My goal every day is to pick two to excel at. I don’t believe it’s possible to do all of these things efficiently every single day, but the objective should be to do one or two of them well enough that when you have to tend to something else, the other plants don’t die in your absence.
I hate being away from my son when I travel, but if I didn’t travel, I wouldn’t be able to afford the opportunities I’ve been able to give him. So I try my best, when I’m gone, to help him understand why and what’s happening while I’m away. It’s not a perfect system, but it’s better than nothing.
What do you want your legacy to be as a businessman and father?
If I can raise a child who’s appreciative of me and has an internal desire to help other people, then I’ve succeeded. The greatest gift a person can give the world is a child who continues their work of being a good person and helping strangers. That’s what my father did, that’s what I do, and it’s what I hope for my son.
If you could write a short letter to your dad and even those you view as father figures, starting with “Dear Father(s)”, what would you say to them?
Dear Fathers, you’re doing the best you can. Rest assured that being present and communicative — not only in your child’s life but in their mother’s life — pays dividends for your child and your grandchildren for decades to come.
There are days you’ll feel like no one sees you — and you’re probably right. But know that, in their own time, children will piece together the puzzle of their past, and your truth will be laid out before them. Make sure it’s a truth you can still stand beside later in life.
Tell us when and where we can purchase your new book and where people can follow you on your journey as well?
My book The Man of Many Fathers is available now in hardcover and digital formats wherever books are sold. I’m thankful to have great partners at Crown Publishing for this project — they’ve allowed me the freedom and leeway to tell my story.
