Name: Arthur Smocks City: Long Beach CA Instagram: @artsmocks
What does being a father mean to you?
Being a father means being present.
Its easy for father’s to operate in the home yet most stay distracted, distant and devoid of deep connection to their family.
As a present dad I aim to be there in all facets. Spiritually, monetarily, emotionally and socially as my family grows and our dynamic shifts.
Describe your experience with your father growing up and how that impacted you today.
My experience with Father growing up was HORRIBLE. He was an emotionally neglectful alcoholic with little capacity for the responsibilities of fatherhood.
This made me want to give my kids what I lacked. I read, listen and respond instead of reacting to give my children the father that’s best for them. It takes getting out of my own trauma to make sure I don’t pass it along to them.
What things/tools/gems did you take from your experience growing up into your Fatherhood journey today?
The main tool I recieved was the advice not to “solve temporary problems with permanent solutions.”
It’s helped me in times of great doubt as I searched for what it meant for me to be a father, husband and leader.
Have you had any obstacles on your fatherhood journey? If so, explain.
So many obstacles… here is the biggest
I lost my son, Arri Kenzo Smocks at 40 weeks gestation. He was a stillborn and this shook my family to our core. I was not emotionally equipped to handle the sudden loss and our lives began to spiral. My mental took a deep dive into depression and I couldn’t function or face children the same. We lost a lot during this time but are slowly building back to a place of stability with the help of community, God, self-love and Daddy Stroller Social Club.
What advice would you give other Fathers on their journey?
Join a Fatherhood group.
Being a dad is NOT a solitary task. Having other men to strengthen you mentally, emotionally and socially is a NEED.
If you could write a quick letter to your father, starting with “Dear Father,” what would you say?
Dear Father,
Let go of the traumas from your past, embrace self love and learn how to be emotionally vulnerable with the people you love most.
Son
