The journey into parenting is full of new experiences, emotions, and responsibilities. Most people talk about the role of mothers when it comes to parenting, and the reasons are obvious. According to an Ethiopian study published by NIH, less than 50% of men are actively involved in childcare. Education, knowledge, attitude, and number of children are the deciding factors.
However, things are changing as a growing number of dads in the US want to play an active role in childcare. Adopting a hands-on approach can strengthen your connection with your newborn. Additionally, it can provide vital support to your partner and shape your child’s foundational sense of security and love.
For a first-timer, being a hands-on dad can be overwhelming. Holding a tiny human sounds scary because you don’t have the natural instinct that women have. Don’t stress out because there’s no “perfect” way to be a dad. All you need is the willingness to get involved, learn, and grow alongside your baby.
Start Early
Engagement as a dad should begin before your baby is born. Pregnancy offers a precious window to prepare emotionally and practically for the parenting role. Attend prenatal appointments, read about infant care, and set up the nursery. These measures will help you be more prepared and show your commitment to your new family.
Seek paternity leave once your bundle of joy arrives. Harvard Business Review highlights the importance of paternity leave for families. Research shows that it strengthens the father-child bonding and fortifies the relationship between partners. Paternal brain training is another advantage of this official break from work.
Fathers in the US can avail of a 12-week time-off, though it is not paid unless the state has such rules. You can discuss the option of remote work with your employer, or seek flexible timings to ensure doing your bit for your newborn. This early involvement turns parenthood into a true partnership.
Feel Your Emotions
New dads experience a wide range of emotions, and these are absolutely normal. You may feel excitement, pride, anxiety, and self-doubt, all at the same time. The ride is even rougher for first-timers, but you should not bottle up your feelings. At the same time, new fatherhood can sometimes bring unexpected feelings. Be ready to feel left out, overwhelmed, or uncertain about your role.
Managing your emotions prepares you mentally for the role of a hands-on dad. Acknowledge your feelings, talk to your partner, and seek support from friends and family. You may even join a father’s group to exchange notes and feel less awkward. Feeling emotional is a sign of your commitment and care, rather than a weakness.
Expressing these emotions openly makes it easier to adapt and stay focused on what truly matters: your relationship with your child.
Learn Your Baby’s Cues
Every baby, including newborns, communicates through cues such as fussiness, coos, cries, and body movements. Moms tend to learn them faster due to their maternal instincts. However, dads looking to go hands-on must also pay attention to these signals. Over time, you’ll learn to recognize when your baby is hungry, tired, overstimulated, or in need of a diaper change.
More importantly, you must watch out for red flags indicating that your little one is sick. According to the Mayo Clinic, warning signs include fever, dehydration, lack of appetite, vomiting, rashes, and a tender belly button. These indicate that you should see a healthcare provider immediately.
Besides a pediatrician, a neonatal Doctor of Nursing Practice (DNP) is a reliable provider to help with newborn care. According to Baylor University, neonatal nursing equips these professionals with the right skills to diagnose and treat complex medical conditions for infants up to two years of age. The good thing is that they are more accessible.
A growing number of nurses pursue neonatal DNP programs to achieve specialization in this niche. This means you will not fall short of help when you need it. Learning to interpret your baby’s signals can be challenging, especially in the early weeks. However, patience and practice will help you develop this skill over time.
Master the Art of Feeding
Whether your baby is breastfed, bottle-fed, or a combination, feeding is a key opportunity for dads to bond with their newborn. The Bump notes that only 41% of parents in the US met their breastfeeding goals, according to a survey. Also, 74% ended up switching to formula, and 87% opted for combination feeding.
As soon as you move your baby to formula or combination feeding, you can take responsibility for feeding. Try to do nighttime duties to give your partner the rest and sleep she needs. The process may be challenging initially, but you will enjoy it once you get the hang of it.
Start by preparing bottles and learning proper sterilization. Watch your partner feed the baby and try it when you feel confident. Making frequent eye contact during feeding sessions is a good idea. Burping and comforting the baby afterward is a part of the job. Feeding is intimate and soothing, and close contact helps your newborn associate you with comfort and care.
FAQs
How to get a newborn more comfortable with dad?
Consistency is the secret to creating a comfort level with your baby. The more time you spend with your newborn, the more they’ll get used to you. Try holding, cuddling, talking, and feeding to build a bond. Make skin-to-skin contact a part of your routine. Engage at calm, predictable times, such as after a nap or during feeds, to build their comfort and trust.
Do babies bond with fathers?
Babies form attachments with their dads in the same way they do with their moms. However, this requires repeated, caring interactions, which men sometimes miss out on. Early, hands-on involvement by fathers strengthens emotional bonds and positively influences the child’s social and cognitive development.
Can newborns sense their dad?
Yes, they can. Surprisingly, newborns can recognize voices and even smells. If you’ve talked or sung to your baby during pregnancy, they will likely find your voice soothing. Skin-to-skin contact, cuddling, and simply being there help your baby become familiar with you right from birth. This sense of recognition grows stronger every day as you spend time with the little one.
Becoming a hands-on dad is not about having all the right answers or solving a puzzle. It is more about showing up with love, effort, and presence every day and night. It’s about changing diapers, cuddling during midnight cries, playing on the floor, and celebrating every milestone. Don’t look for a road map; rather, embrace your unique journey and create a real connection with love and care.
