LaTosha says her father was the first teacher in becoming independent

Name: LaTosha Jones City: St. Louis, MO | @Authentic.Complexity

Dad’s Name: Keith D. Jones

Describe your relationship with your Father and how did that impact you?

My father has always been the parent that let me experience life without training wheels. Growing up, he was always at every dance recital, every bowling practice, every school activity. He let me spread my wings so I can learn it’s ok to be book smart but know your surroundings as well. As an adult we can talk about anything. Good or bad we have an honest communication. He’s a big kid at heart so that keeps it fun.

What’s the best thing you’ve learned from your Father?

I learned true independence from my dad. He’s always been the father to provide at any cost but always told me, “Don’t rely on anyone to do anything for you including me.” At the end of the day you have to show up for yourself and never let anyone take advantage of your kindness.

What struggles did you face in your relationship with your Dad and how did you get through them?

Coming into being an adult. I noticed my dad is a big talker. I’ve grown to learn that that is him and now i can talk to him and tell him what he did and how it affects me or others. When I was in college I didn’t talk to my dad for months because of this reason. I stopped asking him for help and started doing everything I could on my own. There’s a difference in doing things to help someone, give a gift, or even because they are your child and you want to be “a good father”. You don’t boast about what you do or hold it over your child’s head. Especially when they didn’t ask for any of it.

What has your relationship with your Father taught you about what to look/not look for in your partner?

In a partner I look for someone that is about family. That can communicate and doesn’t give a controlling vibe. Most of all they have to have fun! My dad is my roll dog and my first male best friend. That’s how it should be with my partner. Ups and downs are gonna come but at the end of the day we need to be able to talk it out and laugh.

How has your relationship with your Father shaped the woman you are today?

Because of my dad, I’m not afraid to be a voice for myself and others. I am a woman that will stand her ground. Most importantly I remember where I come from. My love for music comes from him. The appreciation of a real conversation. Most of all paying attention to who I trust.

If you could write a short letter to your father, starting with “Dear Father,” what would you say?

Dear Father,

Thank you for choosing to create your own blue print when you didn’t have an example to learn from. Thank you for giving me a sister to teach lessons I learned from you. Thank you for setting me straight when I get emotional. Most of all thank you for always being present and keeping your word to your girls 🖤.


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Dana Kerns
Dana Kerns
An open space and story telling series for women to share stories about their black fathers and the impact the relationship has left on them.

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