Britini Harris says her dad is the reason she wants a partner but doesn’t need one

Name: Britni Harris City: Charlotte, NC | @_m0onch1ld_

Dad’s Name: Steven Green

Describe your relationship with your Father and how did that impact you?

I have always been a Daddy’s girl. I am tremendously blessed to have such a man with great character to call my own (I’m his only child). I would always say how he is my peace and sanity; he’s who I go to when I need to vent and receive a honest non judgmental feedback. I have watched how he takes care of me, my grandmother and so many others. I have learned how to be a better human because of him.

What’s the best thing you’ve learned from your Father?

I remember when I was younger, I would act out and get in trouble. He and my Mother had two different ways of handling my troubled self. My Mother would do what any Mother would do, spank me. But my Dad, would sit me down and ask questions as to why I acted out, make me realize how it hurt others and how it can possibly be my own demise. When he would cry, it tore me apart, because I never wanted to hurt any of them, I was just a teen lashing out. But I’m those very moments, I learned that men are stronger when they express vulnerability and communicate effectively. Thanks Pop!

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What struggles did you face in your relationship with your Dad and how did you get through them?

I didn’t really pay attention to this until adulthood, but my Father wasn’t really affectionate. Never really knew why, until I asked. He stated, he loved me unconditionally but didn’t know how to physical express it, because it wasn’t taught to him. He would literally give me “noggies”. I had to say, Dad I’m a young woman and I need hugs! Now he’s the best bear hugger ever, those embraces are needed for the psyche.

What has your relationship with your Father taught you about what to look/not look for in your partner?

Watching my Dad throughout my life; I learned you have to find someone that is your friend. Protects you at all cost. Knows how to communicate. Someone you can be your true authentic self with. Be with someone who wouldn’t intentionally hurt you. But most importantly, to want a partner and not need a partner.

How has your relationship with your Father shaped the woman you are today?

I account a lot of who I am today to my relationship with my Father. We are both genuine, kindhearted and charismatic to say the least.

If you could write a short letter to your father, starting with “Dear Father,” what would you say?

Dear Father,

Thank you for being you. Thank you for being an active participant in shaping me into the woman I am today. I honestly do not know what I would do without you. You have always been my shoulder to cry on and my rock. Every since Mom’s passing, you haven’t missed a day to tell me you loved me. Although we are both mourning; you’re staying strong for us.

Thank you for being an active participant in my sisters life as well, she’s not yours but you never treated her any different. What I had, she had.

I appreciate your generosity, your undying love for our family and we are truly blessed for you. I pray God continues to bless you with many more years to share your light!

Forever your babygirl,

Brit.

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Dana Kerns
Dana Kernshttps://dearfathers.com
An open space and story telling series for women to share stories about their black fathers and the impact the relationship has left on them.

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