Name: Martell Pleasant | City: Temecula Valley, CA | IG:@tellytell175
What does being a father mean to you?
Being a father to me means so many different things, such as, but not limited to, pure unconditional love, ultimate sacrifice of ones self. To be there when the going gets tough. Countless and sleepless nights. Unlimited amounts of hugs and kisses. Never minimizing your child’s worth, but instead maximizing your child’s potential. Controlling your emotions to show them how vital and imperative it is that they learn to control theirs. Effective communication is essential for the short term and long term success of your child’s life, as far as respect for others and themselves are concerned. Most importantly, just being there and being present when they need you most and being there when they think they don’t need you at all. Which can be a very significant challenge.
Describe your experience with your father growing up and how that impacted you today.
My father and mother split up when I was very young, so I had the pleasure of experiencing what most kids my age go through which is co-parenting. However… my father did the best he could with what he could given the circumstances. I never needed for anything as a child, which I’m eternally grateful for! Even though I grew up across the country from my father, he never hesitated to send for me and be there for me anytime I needed him to. Which in return showed me just how loved I was regardless of the way things turned out between my mother and him. My father was and always will be known as the fun, loving, charismatic, outlandish, yet very stern dad if that makes any sense at all?! Haha. Which definitely had a very impactful effect on how I grew up to become the man I am today and also the type of father I am as well.
What things did you take from your experience growing up into your own fatherhood journey?
Well… once again my biological father was across the country for the majority of my life. Which left me with my mom being the “main” influencer of my life. She was married a few different times which of course brought a few different men in and out of my life. Initially I never really wanted my mom to be with anyone else besides my father as any/most kids would prefer. However… after realizing that wasn’t really up to me anymore watching my mother date other men besides my dad until she found who and what she was looking for, I just simply learned to adapt and go with the flow. Wasn’t easy on me by any means, but like most “mommas boys” I accepted my fate for lack of a better term. The stepfathers that I had were all in their own way very unique in helping my mother shape and mold me into the man I am today. Which I’m very eternally grateful for as well. I learned various life skills from each of them to make applicable to my every day life here today.
Have you had any obstacles on your fatherhood journey?
Honestly not anything worth mentioning. If I had to add anything it would be the fact that my oldest daughter had to endure the same co-parenting lifestyle that I had to as well. Minus the living across the country part of things. Other than that, I’ve been here for her since day one and God willing, I’ll be here for as long as i can until my “journey” comes to an end here in this world. Until then my goal is to minimize any and all obstacles for my two girls as much as I humanly can!
What advice would you give others new on their fatherhood journey?
Just simply to embrace it, own it, live it, and most importantly enjoy it! No kid has ever asked to be here in this world, so if you had a helping hand in bringing one into this world… MAN up and handle your responsibility or at least make an effort to place that child or children with someone who can and wants to. Not everyone is guaranteed to be able to experience fatherhood in its truest form. Don’t squander the opportunity to be someone’s super hero! Never take for granted the chance to have a helping hand in creating the world’s next most brilliant mind(s) known to mankind. Help build a healthy and impactful legacy that will be remembered until the end of time!
If you could write a quick letter to your father, starting with “Dear Father,” what would you say?
Thank you for showing me the difference between right and wrong. For teaching me how to avoid the path of destruction and pursue the path of righteousness. Thank you for always having my back whenever I messed up and for always encouraging and motivating me whenever I did good. Thank you for instilling confidence in me to not only believe in myself, but to be able to instill that confidence into my children as well. I believe you did the best you could with what you could and I’m grateful for that. Even though we’re not on speaking terms right now per your decision. I hope and pray you still have love for me in your heart as I do for you in mine.
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