Name: Quentin Martin | City: Atlanta GA | IG: @theycallme_que
What does being a father mean to you?
Being a father means you are the foundation for kids. You are the first to set the standards for your kids to follow, as the father you build their confidence, and you are what your kids aspire to be from the beginning.
Describe your experience with your father growing up and how that impacted you today.
Growing up, my father was absent – as a youngster, not knowing my father, it made me frustrated but it also fueled my fire to be “successful”. Then by the age of 20, I had my first kid and I remembered how it felt to not have a father in my life – now this was my turn to be a successful at being a father starting with being present in my kid’s life. Growing up with not having that example of what a father is/was, it was like a had a clean slate to formulate my own ideas and thoughts of how to be a great father. I honestly believe that not having my father in my life, made me become a better dad to my kids today and do not take the task or title for granted.
What things did you take from your experience growing up into your own fatherhood journey?
The biggest thing for me was to be present! And to not make excuses of not being there for my kids.
Have you had any obstacles on your fatherhood journey?
Plenty of obstacles of being a father – I feel as each day provides it’s own challenges and obstacles. But to speak on one of the biggest obstacles is parenting – the mother and father interact with one another, understanding why she do what she do as a parent and what you do as a father. Working together through the disagreements, the schedules, and knowing to choose your battles wisely. Mothers’ are going to do what mothers do then you also have some mothers that’ll try to do what a father is supposed to do. Making sure as the dad, your voice gets heard when spoken. Parenting compatibility is real, and can be the biggest obstacles on the journey as a father.
What advice would you give others new on their fatherhood journey?
Build a bond with your kids, develop there trust for them to come and seek your guidance and find a common ground with the child’s mother – you don’t have to be together to work together as parents.
If you could write a quick letter to your father, starting with “Dear Father,” what would you say?
Thank you for planting the seed for me to strong enough for me to make it without your presences. I hate that you were not there when I scored my first touchdown or when I hit a game winning shot, but for those moments you missed – I promise I will not miss thoughts memorable moments in my kids life. Thank you for choosing a strong woman in my mother to birth me, she made sure I did not lack for anything and did her best to fill the void that you were unable to fulfill for whatever the reason may be. I don’t fault you for your decision of not being present nor would I ever ask for an explanation. Thank you for giving me the motivation to be a great father to my kids. Father, you have giving me more than I could ever imagine without you actually giving me a firsthand experience. Life is what it is, and now I have five kids of my own – well four mini me with another one on the way! Not having your present, inspired me to want to be a dad. For those attributes, the fuel to my fire and my desire to be great – I thank you!