Name: Denzel Jacobs | City: Brooklyn | Instagram: @denzel_x_jacobs
What does being a father mean to you?
Being a father means everything to me. The gift that was given to me by God; through the love that was made by his mother and I to create life means a chance for the future. It means to create and condition a boy into a strong man. Being present in my sons life is on top of the list. Providing protecting educating and most importantly having fun with my son is what it means to be a father.
Describe your experience with your father growing up and how that impacted you today.
Growing up I was one of the lucky ones out of my friends to have both parents together. My father was strict on school grades more than anything. Though my father was always around and as selfish this may sound I wish he did more with me as far as physical activities. I appreciated my father for making sure I was educated however as a young boy I would’ve love to wrestle with my father and be outside every weekend playing sports. Those things I’ve done on my own. My father would tell me that due to his job he didn’t have the energy to spend that extra time outside with me. I accepted this and that’s why as a father I’ve chose to never use that as an excuse. I too have an exhausting job and not once have I allowed my priorities take away from my son.
Have you had any obstacles on your fatherhood journey? If so, explain.
After the separation of my sons mother and I that’s when things became more difficult for me. Everything I valued in being a father has been cut by more than half. Like most fathers (and which I’ve learned doesn’t matter how much you’ve done provided already) my child’s mother took me for custody and child support. I found this unfair being that I’ve been providing since the day we found out we were going to be parents. What made it worse is that my child’s mother also put an order of protection which effected my job in more than one way possible. Now this was very upsetting because it took away my time from my son, effecting the way I provide financially for my son and now exposing my son to things I never wanted him to experience especially at such a toddler age. I work for the city of NY in law enforcement and I have been dismantled from my position as a guardian in protecting the city I love.
What advice would you give others new on their fatherhood journey?
Whatever situation you may or may not have with your child’s mother never let your child see you two ill towards one another. Handle the things in your power in your control. And set backs see them as a pivot point in viewing greater horizons for yourself and for your child/children. Your children are sponges and will always be a reflection of you. View yourself first, make some alterations without fear and then project them upon your future which are your children .
If you wanted to write a quick note to your father, starting with “Dear Father,” what would it be?
Dear father I know right now we aren’t in a good place but I love you. Not everyday is promised to neither of us and nor do we deserve the light and warmth of the sun each morning. But I truly forgive you and I apologize for the stress Ive may have caused. I appreciate all which you have taught me but you have to see that you’ve done well and now I am my own man and I am seeking challenges to be more. Allow me to come to you when I truly need you. But right now I am climbing this ladder.
Name 5 fathers you cosign.