Name: Michael Watson City: Washington DC | Instagram: @mike2130
What does being a father mean to you?
To be honest I’m still figuring that part out. By definition and my family dynamic I’m technically a step father but I don’t see myself that way. What I have learned in a short amount of time is that a father means more than being just physically present, it’s a lifelong commitment and responsibility to that child. By proxy you become a father when the child is born but you earn the title by the work you put in.
Describe your experience with your father growing up and how that impacted you today.
I never met my father, I don’t think he even knows I exist. Growing up there are things that I wished my dad would have been there for and helped me navigate and despite doing well for myself, sometimes I wish I would be further.
How that has impacted me as an adult is that for a long time I struggled to take accountability for my actions. My mother (technically my aunt my biological mom’s sister) didn’t make excuses for how she couldn’t raise me and my sister or the circumstances of how I came into her care.
She made the necessary sacrifices for us and helped me embraced and own my story and help me become who I am. When life throws us curveballs you must exercise the ability and freedom to take accountability and ownership of your life
What things did you take from your experience growing up into your own fatherhood journey?
When it comes to being a father it’s pretty much flying blind and not having a role model for how to be one meant coming up with it on the spot. I knew what kind of father I didn’t want to be and vowed to my wife and child that no matter how difficult the journey would be that I would never leave them.
I made commitments to myself to not make excuses or blame my future actions due to the lack of inexperience of not having first hand knowledge of being a father. I made a point to go therapy to deal with and unpack any unresolved or lingering effects of growing up without my father and steps to take to no let that manifest in my marriage and and family that I am building for myself.
The last thing is self awareness, The mistakes and failures in my life came from me not fully understanding who I was. It sometime but once I dedicated myself to truly getting to know myself better, I recognized my reactions, bad habits and behaviors and how that effected me and how to better deal them in order to be the man I wanted to become.
Have you had any obstacles on your fatherhood journey?
Luckily there wasn’t an issue with me being my daughter’s father due to the fact that her biological dad isn’t in the picture. The obstacles that I’ve have had is more personal for me. I went from a life of having no kids to life with a daughter and a wife so it was an adjustment to say the less.
Over the year and a half I’ve been in my daughter’s life I’ve just learned to take things slow and give myself grace. She’s only 5 but she’s already established in her ways. I learned to take things one day a time and built our bond organically and now were in a really good space.
What advice would you give others new on their fatherhood journey?
My advice is simple in the words of Joel Embed “Trust The Process”. You child will absorb everything you do so lead by example. Model Kindness, Practice Patience, and don’t shy away from having the tough conversations. The kids growing up in today’s world are 100 times more advanced than we were growing up so they process things on a higher frequency.
Interact and play on their level and build the moments that may seem minor but that create lasting memories for you and your child for a lifetime. Lastly but most important, don’t be the father who has to prepare the children for the world. Be the father that prepares the world for his children.
If you could write a quick letter to your father, starting with “Dear Father,” what would you say?
Dear Pops,
You and I never got the chance to meet, I’m not sure if my mom even told you of my existence. I just wanted you to know that I don’t have any issue or ill will towards you. Holding a grudge or anger for 32 years never seem like an ideal thing to do. I’ve learned to deal with the victories and defeats of not having a relationship with you.
That’s what life is all about, Learning to roll with the punches, getting knocked down and getting back up deciding to control what you can control and freeing yourself of the uncontrollable. Everything that has happens for a reason and if I had the choice to change the past I wouldn’t.
The experience of growing up without has thought me how to better deal with being in your shoes when my time comes and it has arrived. Maybe one day we’ll meet and in time you get to meet your granddaughter and be apart of my life in my second act. If that day never comes I hope you live the rest of days healthy and happy.
Sincerely,
Michael
List 5 fathers you cosign. (Add their IG names)
1. Kyle Mimms
@invader_mimms
2. Darryl Bullock
@normally.abnormal
3. Matthew Hailes
@Matthew_202
4. Joesph Savoy
@focused_minds_prevail
5.Stephen Henderson
@theimmortalspark
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