MEET BOBBI GUIRL
Bobbi Guirl is an author, advocate, and speaker who uses storytelling to create connection and spark real conversations between children and the adults who love them. Her focus on the father-daughter bond is personal. It reflects her lived experience and her belief that there is something powerful in that relationship, something that shapes confidence, identity, and a child’s sense of belonging. The father-daughter relationship at the heart of Lily’s Big Question resonates deeply with “girl dads” and families alike. Through her work and platform, Bobbi highlights fathers in action and the research that proves Black fathers are highly engaged and involved, despite what media narratives suggest.
TELL US MORE ABOUT WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU DO?
WHAT INSPIRED YOUR BOOK LILY’S BIG QUESTION?
I wish I could say that I’ve always considered writing a children’s book but that would be false. I was inspired to write this book after my coach shared how she turned her life story into a children’s book. When I thought about what a book about my childhood would include and what it would be called, I immediately thought of the questions I had about my mother when I was a child. When my mother died of breast cancer, it was just me and my dad. I was 5 years old. In my eyes, my father was super dad. He cooked, cleaned, did my hair, checked my homework, played with me, kept me connected with my family, introduced me to God, and much more. How could I keep that story to myself? It was then that Lily’s Big Question was born.
IN WHAT WAY DID YOUR DAD MAKE YOU FEEL CLOSE TO YOUR MOM AFTER SHE PASSED?
My dad was young when my mom passed. I didn’t realize what phase of his life he was in until I reached that age. He was 36 years old when he became a full-time single father. His life changed in an instant. We didn’t talk about mom much, but she was always visible. Her pictures were on display in the living room and my father’s bedroom.
My father maintained a close relationship with my mother’s family. Now, that I think of it, I wonder if that was his way making me feel close to my mom and my mom’s family feeling close to her through me. Wow! I just put that together. Amazing. Nevertheless, I commend my father for his efforts. He made sure that I had a relationship with my mom’s family. He fell back when I became an adult and let me maintain those relationships on my own.
My dad did everything for me. All I pretty much had to do was keep my room clean. The thought was always in my mind that if I lost my mom early, I could also lose my dad, so I wanted to do things by myself. I moved out of the house a couple of years after I graduated from high school. I purchased my first house when I was 23 years old. Once I matured and moved on my own, I began to see my father for the person that other people adored. He always had a joke. He loved to entertain. He was always well-dressed and smelled amazing. I could go on and on.
I miss my dad very much but as much as I don’t want to admit it sometimes, he is ever-present in my life. From the witty jokes I tell, to the clothes I wear, the way I parent my son, the way I manage the household, my education and accomplishments, my love for God and the way I love and care for my family. He invested in me and now I’m sharing that with the world.
WHAT DOES THE TERM “GIRL DAD” MEAN TO YOU?
A “Girl Dad” is more than a title given to a man with a daughter. It’s a badge of honor in a brotherhood that connects men who take their responsibility seriously. They are their daughter’s first love, hero, protector, and the example she will carry into every relationship. And Daddy’s Girls carry that same pride, knowing they have someone to depend on, learn from, and build their standards around. Together, they form a bond that people see, feel, and wish they had.
WHAT ARE THE TOP THREE TAKEAWAYS YOU WANT READERS TO GET FROM YOUR BOOK?
Takeaway #1 – Curiosity is Lily’s superpower. Asking questions builds confidence, understanding, and growth. Lily’s curiosity about her mommy leads her to ask a big question. Instead of being dismissed, she is met with support from the people around her. Through those conversations, she gains clarity, feels seen, and builds the confidence to keep asking, learning, and growing.
Takeaway #2 – Present Black fathers are the norm. They are real, engaged, and showing up every day, often more than people realize. Lily’s dad is present in every sense. He listens, pays attention, and shows he cares through his actions. The story and illustrations make his involvement clear, giving children a real example of a nurturing father and creating space for parents to talk about strong, positive Black fathers.
Takeaway #3 – This book shows kids and parents how to handle emotions and situations with care. Lily’s dad responds to her question with patience and understanding. Lily expresses her feelings to her teacher instead of shutting down. The teacher shows what it looks like for adults to support children, and even a new classmate demonstrates empathy by recognizing Lily’s feelings and offering an apology. #socialemotionallearning
ANY ADVICE FOR DAUGHTERS MANAGING THE GRIEF OF A LOST PARENT?
Losing my mom at such a young age left me with feelings bigger than the words I had to express them. I learned to make sense of my world one day at a time. On the outside, everything looked fine. My father was present and engaged. He gave me a great childhood. I did well in school and built a strong career. Then I became a mother. Suddenly, those quiet, buried feelings got loud. I found myself asking, why am I sad? Becoming a mom was the clearest reminder of the mother I didn’t have. It also made me face a truth I had avoided. I had never truly dealt with her loss. My story is a reminder that grief doesn’t follow a timeline. It can show up when you least expect it. My advice to people grieving a loved one is simple, address your grief because what you avoid doesn’t go away, it waits. And when it waits, it doesn’t heal. It lingers, showing up again and again until you face it.
WHY IS A FATHER’S PRESENCE IMPORTANT IN THE LIVES OF YOUNG BLACK GIRLS?
It is proven that a Black girl with a present father grows into a woman who thrives because of the relationship and engagement with her father. His presence shapes how she sees herself, the standards she sets in relationships, how she raises her children, the decisions she makes, her inner voice, and her confidence. It all starts with her first example of a man, her father. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that mothers are best suited to deal with daughters and fathers deal with their sons, and to question the role a father plays in a young girl’s life. That thinking is changing thanks to increased visibility of Black fathers in action in real-life, on social media, in father-focused organizations, etc. That impact doesn’t stop with her. It becomes a legacy. It shows up in the home she builds and the family she leads. Her son benefits from it, whether through the example of his grandfather or the man his mother chooses. Her daughter benefits as well, receiving the confidence, standards, and sense of worth that were first poured into her. What begins with a present father comes full circle, shaping not just one life, but generations.
TELL EVERYONE WHERE THEY CAN PURCHASE YOUR BOOK AND HOW TO FOLLOW YOU ON SOCIAL MEDIA
My book is available on my bookstore at www.lilysbigquestion.com. You can find me on Instagram @bobbiguirl or email at info@bobbiguirl.com.
