Tell the Dear Fathers community more about who you are and what you do?
My name is Carl Wesley. I’m a 5th-grade math teacher in Houston, Texas, and the author of “The Standard: What Young Men Need Before the World Teaches Them Wrong.” I’m also a mentor, speaker, and youth advocate. My work centers on helping young men, ages 8 to 24, develop into strong, disciplined, purpose-driven men through mentorship, education, and real-life principles.
What inspired you to write your book, “The Standard: What Young Men Need Before the World Teaches Them Wrong”?
Many of my friends are incarcerated, and I got tired of watching young men make poor decisions that cost them their futures. I kept seeing the same patterns: young men with no guidance, no standard to measure themselves against, making choices the world was teaching them instead of the right ones. I wrote The Standard to be the guide I wish they’d had, the mentorship in book form for every young man who needs direction before the streets, social media, or bad influences teach him wrong.
What are the top three takeaways you want our audience to know about the book?
First, every young man needs a standard, a clear set of principles to measure his decisions against before the world imposes its own on him. Second, the book is built on a framework: every standard comes with the hard lesson behind it, the wise move to make, the receipt that proves it, and a game plan to apply it. It’s not just theory, it’s actionable. Third, The Standard is about separating yourself from the crowd as you grow, choosing your circle wisely, and becoming the man you were meant to be.
Who is Carl as a Father?
I’m not a father in the traditional sense, I don’t have kids of my own. But I’ve been a father figure to hundreds of young men over the years through my classroom and my mentoring. When you’re a teacher, especially to young boys who may not have a strong male presence at home, you become more than an educator. You become the example, the accountability, the voice that tells them they matter. That’s the role I’ve embraced, and it’s one I take seriously.
What is your relationship with your dad and how has that impacted the man you are today?
I have a strong relationship with my dad, and I’m grateful for that. Having a father who was present and who set an example gave me a foundation to build on. It showed me what it looks like when a man shows up, and that’s shaped how I show up for the young men I teach and mentor. I know not every young man has that, which is exactly why I do this work.
What about your Fatherhood journey inspired you to write this book?
My inspiration didn’t come from being a father, it came from being a teacher. After years in the classroom, I’ve seen firsthand what our young men are experiencing in schools and in their daily lives. I’ve watched boys make decisions that derailed their futures because nobody gave them a better framework. Being in those classrooms year after year, seeing the same patterns play out, that’s what drove me to write The Standard. I wanted to give every young man the guidance I was giving my students, in a form he could carry with him.
What reasons do you feel mentorship is important for young Black boys in our community?
Young Black boys are growing up in a world that’s constantly trying to define them before they can define themselves. Without strong mentorship, they take their cues from social media, music, and the streets, and too often those cues lead to prison, poverty, or an early grave. A mentor shows a young man what’s possible. He provides the example, the accountability, and the belief that someone sees greatness in him. Every young man I’ve mentored who turned his life around had one thing in common: somebody refused to give up on him. That’s what mentorship does. It interrupts the cycle.
How do you balance entrepreneurship/being an author while being the best dad you can be?
I’m not a dad, but I think the principle is the same whether you’re raising your own kids or showing up for the young men in your classroom. It comes down to being intentional with your time and making sure the work you do serves the people you’re trying to impact. Teaching keeps me grounded, it reminds me every day who I’m writing for. The books, the speaking, the programs, it’s all an extension of the classroom, not a distraction from it.
Define what legacy means to you?
Legacy isn’t about what you accumulate, it’s about what you plant in other people. I want to be remembered as someone who showed up for young men when nobody else did. If a young man reads The Standard twenty years from now and makes a better decision because of it, that’s my legacy. It’s not about my name in lights, it’s about the lives that changed because I was willing to do the work.
Where can people purchase your book?
The Standard is available at carlwesley.com and everywhere books are sold, including Amazon. It’s available worldwide.
What’s next for you and how can people connect with you?
I’m expanding The Standard with a Schools Edition designed for educators, an 8-week youth development program with a full curriculum, and more books on the way. I also do speaking engagements, mentorship work, and community events. People can connect with me at carlwesley.com or follow me on Instagram at @carlwesley_thebrand.
Thank you for the opportunity to share.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Carl Wesley, M.Ed., is a Houston educator, mentor, speaker, and youth advocate, and the author of The Standard: What Young Men Need Before the World Teaches Them Wrong. His work guides young men ages 8 to 24 into strong, disciplined, purpose-driven lives through mentorship, education, and real-life principles.
