Tell us about yourself? (who you are, what you do, etc)
Greetings! I am a very passionate young woman in all aspects of my life. Making others happy makes me happy. In everything that I do I like to present myself as a role model. I have a passion for creativity! For me, that includes art, music, interior & architectural design, humanitarianism, and philanthropy. I am currently 24 approaching 25 in a few months. I am now an awesome mother to my amazing 9 month old son, Kairo Brown. I always hold myself accountable for every decision I make in my life. I am a woman who has been quite used to holding her own. Some may call it independent although, I do highly desire and respect a man’s place to be honored if/when he steps up. Being very calm spirited, patient, loving and kind; I know that I am beautiful inside and out.
Can you tell us about your experience raising your child without the father present? How does it impact both you and your child?
Honestly, I really want my son’s father to be here and experience the beautiful creation God has blessed us with. Our son has been growing wonderfully before my eyes. My cute boy is very adventurous and advanced for his age. I always knew I would be an awesome mother. I love it here (lol) and thank God every single day for my son. I still have my postpartum depression days but, I definitely push though. I have faced many hardships so far… from my job replacing my management position as I was returning back from maternity leave. To looking and praying for a better job. To God giving me just that, now working at a bank. I also experienced being late on rent, me not having food or extra money. The realness! All these roadblocks and to top it going through all of that not having a car. God has definitely weighed the bad with the good and gave me great balance. I am sooooo thankful for my support and experience actually. But I pray that my son WILL have his dad at sometime soon in his life.
What things led to the father not being present in your kid(s) life?
Well, if I am being transparent, we were not fully perfect before we got pregnant. I literately remember me telling him that “I wish we had a better relationship” a week or two before I found out that I was pregnant. Honestly, I never seen the fact that I would be experiencing parenting alone when I told he that I was pregnant. We spoke on my desire to start a family many times. He did it to “make me happy” but, with doing so decided to tell me this isn’t what he wanted after the fact. I don’t know the real reason why Kairo’s father doesn’t want to be here/meet his son. I always make assumptions in my head like maybe it’s the 6yr age gap (when quite frankly, I am very mature at 24 and find that obviously I am more mature than him being 30), or is it because he has other women to please and them finding out about us would ruin his image… man, I just don’t know. All I do know is that he has simply not been here. I pray for him very often.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” -Proverbs 3:5-6
What was your experience with your father growing up and how did that impact you?
I was a daddy’s girl lol I am very similar to my dad being super passionate. In fact, my most profound moment with my father was a time he had to tell me he was going away for a while. I cried and with tears in his eyes he said, “baby, don’t cry. You’re gonna make daddy cry.” I was about 6 or 7, Him and my mom was fighting because of his infidelity, which led to a divorce. Then… about 5 years later my stepdad came into the picture and I loved him as well as my father. He was very respectable, funny and loving. Unfortunately, he was murdered when I was 13 and it broke my heart! So with speaking on my experience with a father…. from then to now it was definitely not ideal. I sucks that I didn’t have a father present my teen and half my adult years. My dad currently lives in Arizona and we talk here and there now but, I’m grown now and he missed my life. If you could imagine.. it hurt. I really want my son to experience having his father in his life. I don’t want him to grow any resentment or troublesome ways.
What advice would you give to other #WomenRaisingOurFuture?
Beautiful Queen, stay strong! Keep going with your head held high and faith in God always in your heart! Don’t you dare give up. Prayer WORKS!. Have a support team in your corner. It’s definitely going to get frustrating at times with the child but, remember that God will ALWAYS see you through. God only blesses those who take cares of His children. And that’s REAL. “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ” – Mathew 6:33
If you could think of any resources that would help you through the process, what would they be?
Let’s be real childcare is expensive and all my fellow parents could agree that we knew this before the child came. So if I could think of one main resource that would help you through the process of raising your children is daycare vouchers. Just without the hassle of them wanting the custodial parent to enforce the process of putting the absent parent on child support.
If you could write a letter to your child’s father starting with “Dear Father,” what would you say?
Dear Father, there is so much that comes to mind when I think of you. You came into my life unexpectedly and I am just glad to have met you. I want you to know that I will always have the same heart as I did when you met me. Through our differences that we have had and even if am more to come in this life, I just want you to know that I love that man that I see in you and know you are cable of being with growth. We are not perfect but, if you are willing to cooperate I promise to always make it work. There is no doubt that you will be an amazing father to your children. Your son Kairo is way too precious not to have experienced a bond with his dad. In my absence if ever to come about, please keep him close and protect him with all your heart and honor. God loves you. I pray and hope that you know that. He chose us to be his physical guardians. I am forever thankful and grateful to be his mom. Please better yourself for your future. Let go of any anger that you may have because of your experiences. I will continue to do the same for the sake of the image I want to present in our child’s eyes. My prayers will not stop going up for our situation. I pray for not only Kairo & I but, you as well. “Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.” – John 16:24