Teenagers become more into themselves as they get older. They break off from their parents as their main source of fun and inspiration, and they turn to their friends, their partners and their teachers to help inspire them instead. It can feel very difficult to not know what goes on inside your teenage daughter’s head all of the time, especially when she once held your hand and even followed you to the bathroom.
However, there will be times when you do need to step in and be the adult that she needs and set firm rules and boundaries for her. Teenage daughters are always going to have their own secrets, but if you’re the kind of parent that gives them somewhere safe for them to trust, then that’s good for your relationship going forward. You don’t want to hover over or smother your daughter, but you do want to make sure that she knows that you’re there for her every single step of any problem or any celebration she has in her life.
From letting her know that you know the best sexual offence solicitors should she get into trouble, to letting her know how to best protect herself on a night out, you need to build trust with your teenage daughter so she turns to you when she needs to. Here are some tips to help you with that.
- Help her to come to her own solutions. You could catch your daughter every time she falls, but sometimes you have to give her some space to spread her wings and grow a little bit, and sometimes that means finding the solutions to her own problems. You can be there to listen to her and you can care for her, but you can nudge her in the direction of creating the solution and conclusion to her issues herself. You can then celebrate those conclusions with her. If you’ve always instilled values to help her to make good choices, then you know she’s capable and you have to translate that to her.
- Start being a listener. If your daughter comes to you with a problem or a conflict that she’s facing, talk her through it by asking questions. Ask her what she values about friendships or about relationships, and ask what’s bothering her. Help her to come through the process herself so that you can build that trust without being judgmental of what’s going on. She’ll open up to you more and more when she sees that you’re not going to dictate to her, but that you’re going to listen and help her to come to those conclusions herself. It takes time to just be a listener and not fix the problem, but that’s something that you have to learn as a parent.
- Get her to help you with building her own boundaries. It’s very common for parents to become overbearing as they let their children go. After all, when your teenagers let your hand go and skipping off with their friends, then you have to show them that it’s OK for them to do that and that you trust they will make the right choices. Get her to sit with you and work together on some rules and boundaries together and you’ll be able to trust that she knows what she’s doing and she will listen.
