Name: Derrick Standifer City: Atlanta GA | Instagram: @dr.derrickstandifer
What does being a father mean to you?
Being a father is the foundation of success. Dads equal destiny. It’s a role that goes beyond just providing. It’s about being a constant source of love, guidance, and strength for my children. Fatherhood challenges me to show up as the best version of myself every day, knowing that my kids are watching, learning, and growing through my example. It’s a responsibility that pushes me to be resilient and focused, even during the tough times, because they deserve a parent who believes in them and teaches them to believe in themselves.
To me, being a father also means creating a legacy of values. resilience, kindness, integrity, and the courage to pursue their dreams. My goal is to help them feel empowered, loved, and confident, so they can navigate life with a strong sense of self. At the end of the day, fatherhood is about being present and fully invested in their journey, celebrating their victories, guiding them through their challenges, and showing them they’re never alone.
Describe your experience with your father growing up and how that impacted you today.
Growing up, my relationship with my biological father was almost nonexistent. He struggled with alcoholism, and beat my mama until she left him when I was 6. I didn’t reconnect with him until much later, after finding his name in a phone book and forming a relationship with him before he passed away on my 17th birthday. I could see the regret in his eyes for not being a part of our lives. That experience taught the importance of being fully present as a father, and I vowed to never abandon my children.
My relationship with my biological father was strained, but I was blessed with Coach Hill, my football coach, who became more than just a mentor. He became my dad in the truest sense. Coach Hill showed me the difference between being a “father” and a “daddy.” He taught me that while fathers plant seeds, dads are the ones who nurture and grow them into fruit producing trees. He taught me everything I know about manhood, responsibility, and resilience. When he passed away while I was in my PhD program, it left a huge void, but now all I want to do is make him proud.
What things/tools/gems did you take from your experience growing up into your Fatherhood journey today?
First and foremost, I learned the importance of presence. My biological father’s absence showed me how a father’s involvement matters, so I make sure to be fully present with my kids. Coach Hill taught me the essence of being a “daddy” over just a “father.” He showed me that a real dad shows up and shows out, and guides his children as they grow, helping them become independent individuals. I carry his lessons forward by not only providing for my kids but being their mentor, their cheerleader, and someone who listens to their dreams and helps them reach them.
Lastly, I learned the power of resilience and kindness. Life threw me some tough challenges, and they taught me to lead my children by example, showing them that strength is found in both persistence and compassion. Today, my goal as a father is to raise my kids with love and understanding, so that they feel empowered to grow into the best versions of themselves.
Have you had any obstacles on your fatherhood journey? If so, explain.
One of the biggest challenges has been balancing my professional responsibilities with being a full-time single dad. Earning my PhD while raising two academically gifted children by myself required intense focus, sacrifice, and planning. It wasn’t easy juggling work, school, and being fully present for my kids, but it was worth it.
Another major obstacle was navigating my own grief and mental health challenges. Losing my mother a week before my 26th birthday and then my father figure, Coach Hill, while I was in my PhD program almost killed me. These losses, along with a nasty divorce, forced me to confront my own mental health and seek support, realizing I needed coping strategies to be the best parent I could be.
Through it all, my kids have been my motivation to keep going. They’ve taught me that fatherhood isn’t about perfection; it’s about showing up every day with love and resilience, even when life gets tough. Each obstacle has reinforced my commitment to being a present, supportive, and nurturing dad, no matter the challenges.
What advice would you give other Fathers on their journey?
If you could write a quick letter to your father, starting with “Dear Father,” what would you say?
Although we didn’t have much time together, your absence taught me the importance of presence. I grew up knowing the void of not having you there, but I saw the regret you carried in those last moments we shared. I wish things had been different, that I could have learned directly from you, but I understand that life’s twists and turns led us down different paths. Your story taught me the value of showing up and being there for my own children, of making every moment count. I hope you found peace, and know that I carry the lessons of what wasn’t with me every day.
You gave me everything I needed and more, even though we didn’t share the same blood. You taught me the difference between being a “father” and a “daddy,” and you showed me what it truly means to nurture, guide, and support. You turned every challenge into a lesson and showed me that strength is about resilience and heart. Everything I do now is to honor you and to make you proud. Your impact on my life was big, and it’s a legacy I’m passing on to my own kids. Thank you for being the dad I needed, the one who believed in me and taught me to believe in myself. I miss you, and I’ll continue to carry your wisdom with me.
