Fatherhood – there are so many things wrapped up in that one word. It is a role that fills you with pride and joy. On the other side of the coin are worries about how you can work and care for your children while providing them with everything they need. Add quality time spent together, and you may begin to experience anxiety. Your mental health can suffer when you are stressed about your role and all that comes with it. Keep reading to learn about proactive and realistic ways you can support your mental health and be the best parent you can be.
Address Addiction Issues
If you are experiencing addiction issues, there is help. Trying to go it alone is not the answer for anyone, especially if you are a parent. There are too many things pulling you in every direction to focus on working through addiction without professional intervention and time away to deal with it all and learn new habits and ways to cope.
Checking into a licensed residential drug and alcohol rehab program is a good step toward dealing with your problems and coming out the other side so you can be the best father for your children. Remember, they need you, and they need you at your best. Treatment is the path toward that goal.
Prioritize Physical Health
Physical and mental health are inexorably linked. When your body is tended to, your mental health benefits. Physical health goes beyond going to the doctor for annual check-ups and as needed. It encompasses daily exercise and paying attention to your body. Everything from what you eat to what you drink is part of your whole body health needs.
Schedule time every day for exercise, whether it is running a few miles on the basement treadmill before your kids wake up or a family bike ride after dinner, movement matters. Exercise releases feel-good endorphins and helps alleviate stress and anxiety. In addition, you will set a good example for your kids on how to take care of yourself.
Find a Mental Health Counselor
If you have never met with a mental health counselor, you will be pleasantly surprised at your first appointment. Once you find a counselor that fits your unique needs, you will have someone in your corner to whom you can turn to in times of trouble. They are licensed professionals with the experience to support you while helping you work through any problems in your life.
A mental health counselor will also challenge you to adopt new and healthier behaviors and approaches to life. Their services are available for you when times are tough, you do not know what to do next, or there are small issues you want to talk through. They will teach you different coping mechanisms to help you support yourself and gain perspective when you need it most.
Ask for Help
The word help is a double-edged sword to some. If asked, you probably give your all to help those in need and the ones you love. But ask for it yourself? If that is difficult for you to do, it is time to change your position. Leaning on others when you need your kids picked up from school because a meeting runs late is right for everyone. Your kids are cared for, and your stress is reduced.
Asking for help does not mean you are weak. Instead, consider it a way of empowering yourself. That is what your people are for, and trying to handle all of the responsibilities of being a dad and keeping your career intact are impossible for any one person to do alone without becoming overtaxed. When that happens, you are no good to anyone, especially your kids.
Learn More About Parenting
Parenting does not come naturally to everyone. Even for those for whom it feels easy, there will come a time when you need extra help. People, children and teens included, are nuanced. As kids age and they have new life experiences or outside influences such as the news cycle or the endless stream of social media, things will change. When this inevitably occurs, it is time to reassess your parenting knowledge and find new ways to do the job.
Being a father does not mean you know everything. Finding parenting resources and support will help everyone communicate and work together better. Look for parent support groups online, sign up for newsletters, and pay attention to groups supported by your church or another organization to which you belong. Of note, it is important to find groups that both align with your beliefs but still challenge you to think outside the box so your parenting does not become siloed.
Put in the Work
When it comes to supporting yourself and your mental health through all the stages of life and fatherhood, you need to remember to put in the work. Some days will be harder, but you still need to get up and put one foot in front of the other to keep moving forward. Never pretend that things are okay when you are struggling. Being honest with yourself and others about where you are is part of the work. If you falter and take a step back, you are only human. What matters for you and your children is that you put in the work to step forward.
Watch this video to learn about one father’s experience of why seeking help is a sign of strength. Disclaimer: The content involves alcohol use and touches on the topic of suicide.
When you are in a good place, you can care for your children just as they deserve. If you are experiencing addiction, it is something that needs to be addressed without shame and with intention. Get the help you need, whether in the form of a treatment center or texting your friend because the car won’t start. When you need something, use your voice and ask. Your children are watching. As you take care of your mental health, they will see it as a normal thing to do as they grow into adulthood.
