There are countless things to consider when preparing for a newborn, and choosing how to feed your new child is often at the top of that list. While this is an incredibly personal choice, most parents who are able to do so will choose to breastfeed. 

This is because breastfeeding offers countless benefits for the baby, including an improved immune system and healthier digestion. Breastfeeding also brings countless bonding benefits for babies and their mothers. Unfortunately in some instances, it can also leave dads a little out in the cold. 

This is because, at this early age, babies live off base instincts, like the need to feed. As well as missing out on the bonding that happens during breastfeeding, many dads may find that their baby constantly cries for Mom when she’s around. Dads of breastfed babies also often miss out on things like nighttime wakings, and other crucial bonding activities. 

Luckily, there are ways to overcome these setbacks, and dads can bond with their breastfed babies, even during the newborn stage. Keep on reading as we consider just a few ways you could achieve that goal. 

Choose Your Timings Wisely

Babies can’t communicate, so they let us know about basic needs like hunger by crying. If you choose to spend time with your baby when they’re due for a feed that you’re unable to give them, the chances are they’ll spend that whole time screaming at you. 

Luckily, it’s easy enough to avoid this issue because young babies, in particular, tend to have pretty reliable feeding schedules. This varies somewhat from baby to baby, so it’s worth taking time to note your own baby’s routine, but as a rule, newborns feed roughly every 2-3 hours. 

To play it safe, try to spend as much time as possible with your baby when they’ve just fed. This will be difficult during the early stages, as many babies will sleep immediately after breastfeeding, but it’ll get easier over the coming weeks and months. 

By following this routine-led focus on bonding, you make it more likely that your baby will be engaged with you, and happy to spend time with Dad rather than constantly looking for Mom. 

Start Skin-to-Skin Early

For the most part, bonding during breastfeeding happens due to something known as ‘skin-to-skin’ contact, or ‘kangaroo care’. When Mom lifts her top to feed the baby, close proximity to things like Mom’s heart can help with everything from regulating the baby’s heart rate to protecting them against infection through bacterial exchanges. That’s pretty amazing, and these are benefits that you don’t need breasts to provide. 

Nowadays, experts recommend that dads spend as much time on skin-to-skin as breastfeeding mothers, with most manuals recommending that this practice begins as soon after birth as possible. 

To get stuck in, dads simply need to whip off their tops and lay their baby, who should preferably be wearing just a nappy, across their bare chest. Remember that babies can’t regulate their temperatures, so it’s always best to throw a blanket over an undressed baby as you do this. Then, you can enjoy some of the best dad-baby bonding imaginable. 

Make sure to sit comfortably in a reclined position as you do this, because skin-to-skin is sure to relax your baby, who may want to stay here for a fair amount of time, and may even fall asleep. It’s also important that you don’t fall asleep yourself, as that could be a notable safety risk to the baby. Instead, stay awake and speak gently to your baby, or perhaps sing them some quiet lullabies. 

Aim to do this skin-to-skin bonding as often as possible to feel closer to your baby during even the smallest newborn phase. 

Consider Using Expressed Milk for Occasional Bottles

Breastfeeding is a delicate and impressive process, which involves the mother making milk on demand at times when the baby is most likely to want it. For this reason, lactation consultants typically recommend waiting to try a bottle for at least the first month, while this supply-and-demand breastfeeding cycle becomes established. From that point on though, it can be beneficial to provide occasional bottles of expressed breast milk. 

As well as giving mom some time off, expressed bottles are a great way for dad to get involved in the bonding experience of feeding the baby. This addition in the feeding routine also means that dads can more easily take control of things like night feeds, or take their baby out without fears about how they’ll feed. 

The main thing to note here is that not all breastfed babies take to the bottle. While rumors of things like ‘bottle confusion’ are largely disproven, the teat of bottles can be larger and require a different sucking pattern to those used at the breast. Giving a bottle at least once every three days after it’s introduced can help to ensure your baby will accept milk this way. Equally, it’s possible to buy realistic-style bottle teats, which ensure your baby is far more likely to take a bottle from dad with ease. 

Sleep With Baby on Your Side

Experts generally recommend sleeping with the baby in your room, but not in your bed, for the first six months, as this can be the best way to practice safe sleeping. Most parents don’t have space for a full cot setup, and will instead use something like this bassinet bedside sleeper, which is great for bonding as it rests right up against the bed with just a thin mesh sheet between parent and child. 

These cots also have a zip-down side, which is great for safe co-sleeping, or even sleepy breastfeeds. But, remember that this kind of cot needn’t automatically be on Mom’s side of the bed. 

While it will mean more regular wakeups for both parents, even breastfed babies can easily sleep on their dad’s side. Choosing the right cosleeper to help with this can be fantastic for everything from creating strong bonds to ensuring ongoing physical contact, and even familiarity with dad’s smell. 

Most co-sleepers are also easy enough to move around, meaning you could switch sleeping sides and take night duty when there are a few expressed bottles in the fridge. Equally, you could permanently keep even a breastfed baby on your side of the bed, and simply pass them over to their mom when they get hungry. This way, you ensure you’re always part of the experience, as well. 

Prioritize The Tasks You Can Do

It’s easy to focus on the one thing a dad can’t do (breastfeeding) and assume that your role is null and void for the first months of your baby’s life. Feeding and sleeping are that child’s main priorities, after all, and neither of them involves you! 

However, when you think about it, there are plenty of things that a dad can do with their baby, even at this early stage. Bath times are a particularly great responsibility for dads to take care of, as they involve loads of skin-to-skin and physical touch, especially if you take the time to incorporate things like baby massage into the process. 

Other tasks that can be fantastic for dads to handle from an early age include – 

• Nappy changes with plenty of eye contact
• Daily tummy time with stimulating toys
• Reading to baby
• Burping or rocking baby
• And many more

It’s also often beneficial for dads to become involved in things like bedtime, even if the baby will frequently feed at this time. Something as simple as taking them upstairs and getting them into their pajamas, or even reading a bedtime story, can ensure that you’re part of this routine, breasts or not. 

Go Out Without Mom

Breastfeeding is a phenomenal process, and it means that a baby will often be unsettled if they can even smell their mom’s milk in the house. That’s an amazing connection, but it can mean that dads don’t get any grizzle-free time with their breastfed babies if they stick close to home. This can also prove damaging to bonding, as a baby may associate time with their dad as a time when they’re prevented from feeding as they wish.

As your baby leaves the highly dependent newborn phase, it can be worth overcoming this setback by making an effort to get out of the house without Mom in tow. Again, you’ll want to time these trips just after a feed or take along a bottle that you know your baby will accept. Once you can ensure that, however, you could have a lot of fun with even a brief trip to somewhere child-friendly, like a soft play area with a baby section, or even your local library. 

Even just a quick trip to the local park can provide fantastic bonding and could involve looking at leaves with your child or letting them feel the grass. 

Takeaway

Breastfeeding provides amazing benefits for your baby, but it can also make baby-and-dad bonding slightly harder to navigate. Strengthen your relationship with your baby regardless by prioritizing bonding using tips like these.