Tell us more about who you all are and what you do?
We are Whosdadeadbeat, an organization founded by the two of us, (Robert and Dorsheema McMath, Rob & Sheema) a husband and wife who’s committed to raising awareness on parental alienation. We are determined to change the commonness of the “deadbeat Dad” narrative society continues to push on fathers. As advocates of our community, we strive to help educate alienated fathers and targeted parents of their rights. We strongly support & encourage others to take action to have their children in their lives while facing the challenges of parental alienation.
What inspired you to start the Who’s Da DeadBeat brand?
We decided to start the brand after becoming an alienated father and targeted stepmom. We were alienated from two of our children (husband’s 2 kids from previous relationship.) In this experience we learned the ugly truth about parental alienation while fighting in family court & enduring an excruciating 5 year long custody battle. He was always a great dad & a very active father with his kids, it wasn’t until the relationship ended with their mom & then suddenly he was deemed a “deadbeat”. If a good father could be falsely categorized as a “deadbeat” so easily by a bitter BabyMama, it made us wonder how many other fathers could this be happening too? Going through this together inspired us to want to help others that don’t have a voice. We really wanted to find out in these situations, Who is the deadbeat? Especially when we personally know, it’s not always the father.
Define your definition of “Dead Beat”?
Our definition of Deadbeat can be complex. It’s anyone who doesn’t do what’s in the best interest of a child & Not just financially, like most textbook definitions. It’s not just about money or child support. For us, It’s always about presence & involvement. Children need time and attention. Children need nurturing and understanding from caring adults. If you do anything that compromises that, or anything to hurt or harm a child’s well being, not just physically but emotionally as well, especially underhanded abusive tactics like keeping a child from the other parent for no true safety reason at all….. YOU ARE A DEADBEAT. Deadbeats are not just fathers, they can be mothers too. The way we see it, a Deadbeat can be relatives, guardians, grandparents, & any adult who has the authority or influence over a child yet they never do what’s best for that child.
What do you want your audience to take away from the content you share?
We share our content to improve the lives of others who are dealing with parental alienation. We want our audience to stop suffering in silence. Our content enables us to connect with our audience in a special way because we want to help educate our community and spread awareness. It also helps us define ourselves as advocates of alienated fathers & many broken families. We want to give our audience a voice through our platform and the unwavering support they need to encourage themselves to stand up for their rights, beliefs and values as targeted parents.
Tell us more about who you are as parents to your kids?
Altogether we are a blended family of 8 with a total 6 kids ranging from the ages of 22, 18, 17, 10, 6, and 3 years old. We are something like a modern day real life Black Brady Bunch. We both are devoted parents and we always set out to do whatever is in the best interest of our children. When we got married and vowed to blend our family, & 2 of our children were deliberately being kept from us, we both knew we wouldn’t stop at nothing until we had all our children together and our family was complete. Parenthood isn’t easy but it’s worth it and we try our very best to raise our kids in the healthiest ways to help them thrive in the world today. Our kids are very lucky because they have some cool ass parents.
Where do you see the brand in 5 years?
In 5 years we see our brand making a major impact for fathers and families. Our long-term goals are to pursue opportunities that can help us continue to grow and connect with more of our community, potentially on a global basis. These are not just goals but a guideline that we must follow in order to develop more strategies which will expand our organizational outreach. Ultimately We would like to build nonprofits to align alienated father’s & families with resources that will help with navigating the family court system, escaping domestic violence, help with shelter, job placement, medical care, mental healthcare, financial assistance, and more.
Why do you feel the media only portrays Dads as Dead Beats and not Moms?
It’s pure propaganda. It’s stereotypical BS. The concept of “Deadbeat Dad” came about because for many years men were more often than not the ones who were paying child support. Mothers are the ones who physically have the children and so this narrative of absentee fathers who willfully decline to accept responsibility as a man and walk away from their children became a thing way back then. Not to mention the legality of the family court formulated system of denied custody & child support being unnecessarily forced upon dads instead of mothers. These attacks specifically on our culture to devalue & emasculate our men started centuries ago. The media continues to push the absentee father/deadbeat Dad narrative and victimizes the mothers for the purposes of show business, even though Statistics show black fathers are the most active Dads in their children’s lives.
When Mothers keep kids away from their fathers, what impact does that have on the kids?
Parental Alienation a form of child abuse can have devastating effects on kids.
Just to name a few,
Children may develop depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and other emotional issues. They may also have a confused sense of self, lack trust in their feelings, and struggle to develop independence.
Children may have difficulty forming healthy relationships with the alienated parent and others in the future. They may also feel guilt or blame themselves for the destruction of their relationship with the parent.
Emotional turmoil can make it hard for children to concentrate and may lead to poor academic performance.
Children may appear rude, ungrateful, or spiteful toward the alienated parent. They may also lack impulse control and engage in delinquent behavior. Children need both parents in their lives for optimal growth & development. To keep them away from a loving parent is setting them up for failure to thrive as healthy individuals. We can go on and on, after speaking on our platform with adults that were alienated children, we’ve been told the trauma behind it all is a life long battle.
What are three ways to successfully manage a blended family?
Each family dynamic is different but We put & keep our marriage first before anything.
If we can’t model a healthy loving relationship in front of our children then what are we even doing? Three ways we successfully manage our blended family is through Communication, setting family rules and building positive relationships. Having a blended family can be difficult but in our case especially having small kids that were alienated, abused and trained to reject our blended family. With that being said, We have to approach our family dynamic with a certain level of patience, understanding & grace that may not be required for most blended families & this makes our situation even more challenging. However, because we have those hard conversations together as a family, we find a common ground and work together to bond and create new opportunities to grow & learn together. We are grateful that All of our children have adjusted very well given the circumstances.
Tell people what’s next for you, how they can follow you, etc?
We are in the process of establishing our first nonprofit organization that will further educate others on parental alienation and help our community of alienated father’s & families with legal assistance, additional resources and guidance to help them with their journey within the family court system. We look forward to growing and becoming more active in our community while facilitating more advocacy events in the near future for fathers and families. We are whosdadeadbeat on Instagram and Facebook and whosdadeadbeat222 on YouTube, follow us and subscribe to our channel, don’t hesitate to come check us out! Help us spread awareness on parental alienation. Thank you for your support.
