The need to talk about your feelings is only human. However, as a man, you might be worried that your need to talk about your feelings shows you are weak. Societal expectations might create pressure on you, or you might fear that you will be judged. This is what makes it difficult. To help you, we will show you how to talk to your partner about your mental health, how professional support will help you, and why seeking help is something you must do.
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH MENTAL HEALTH
There are some common signs and symptoms that show that you need help with your mental health. The first thing to do is talk it out. Be vocal about it when you see that you:
- Feel sad, or your mood is low for a long time
- Don’t enjoy the activities you did in the past
- Sleep too much or too little
- Feel irritable or anxious
- Find it hard to concentrate
- Start losing or gaining weight
- Have headaches or feel fatigued
- Have thoughts of self-harm or suicide
TIPS ON HOW TO TALK TO YOUR PARTNER ABOUT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
To make sure you are heard and understood, follow these tips.
CHOOSE THE RIGHT TIME AND PLACE
You need a quiet and private place to feel comfortable and speak openly without distractions. When you are both in a calm place, you will be focused on the conversation. Besides the place, you need good timing. Don’t talk about such important things if you or your partner are busy or stressed. You need to be relaxed and have no tasks on your mind.
Your conversation should not be interrupted at any time. Turn off your phones, and avoid any potential distractions. Let your partner know that you need their full attention for an important discussion.
BE OPEN AND HONEST
The most important thing is to express yourself clearly when you want to talk to your partner about your mental health. That’s why you need to organize your thoughts beforehand. When you speak concisely, your partner will understand you better.
Get your feelings across without placing blame on your partner. Don’t tell them they are making you anxious. Rather, say: I feel anxious. This way, your partner will focus on you and not get defensive. Also, it is a positive way to speak.
When you start talking, don’t hold back. Say what’s on your mind and tell your partner exactly how you feel. Whether it’s having trouble sleeping or having a hard time at work, let them know. Be transparent so that your partner clearly knows what you are going through.
KNOW WHAT TO SHARE WITH YOUR PARTNER
Share the specific symptoms you are experiencing. Give the details and say how that affects other aspects of your life. Talk about how it influences your relationship. It might be tough to talk about it, but you have to. Say, “I’ve noticed that I’m more irritable lately, and it’s affecting how we communicate,” or “I feel distant and disconnected, and I know it’s affecting our closeness.”
Also, clearly state the kind of support you need from your partner. Be specific about what would help you feel better. This could include things like needing more patience, wanting to spend more quality time together, or seeking help to find a therapist.
WHY IT IS HARD FOR MEN TO TALK ABOUT THEIR MENTAL HEALTH
You might feel like you should handle things on your own as a man. This is an idea that is baked into our culture and society. Being a father adds an extra layer of pressure. You might feel that showing you are vulnerable shows you are weak and not worthy of respect and love. In fact, 1 in 10 men experience depression or anxiety, but less than half of them receive treatment.
If you are dealing with a mental health issue, it is not something you can just shake off or ignore, relying on the expectation that you should be strong. You will be stronger when you take care of your mental state. To do this, you sometimes need help.
THINGS ARE CHANGING
Fortunately, we are slowly learning to recognize that men also need support. People are starting to change the way they see mental health. Many states help in this endeavor. A great example is Washington State, which invested $131 million to help behavioral health providers in 2021 and 2022. These types of investments help communities and individuals who need care, validation, and mental health support.
SEEKING PROFESSIONAL HELP
If you are going through more severe mental health issues like bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder, you must get help from professionals. Therapy and counseling can help you understand your problems, develop ways to cope, and manage stress better. It can also improve your relationships and life in general.
Capacities for mental health management always need improving. The aforementioned Washington has only 13.3 psychiatric beds available per 100,000 population. Luckily, treatment centers like We Level Up Washington offer inpatient treatment, as well. Here, you get the support of compassionate and experienced experts who know how to approach your situation. They will understand what you are going through and acknowledge your feelings as a man or a father figure. But of course, mental health issues can vary, especially when your physical health is taking a toll. For example, if you’ve noticed that you’ve been leaning more and more toward alcohol or substances, then you may need to receive addiction treatment. However, all of this has a compassionate approach, and usually, family members, especially partners, are very supportive of this step if this is the action that needs to be taken.
After thoroughly examining your condition and understanding the support and care you need, you will get a customized treatment plan that fits your needs.
TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF HELPS YOU TAKE CARE OF OTHERS
When you prioritize your mental health, you start to feel better. Learn how to talk to your partner about your mental health, be open about it, and seek help. When you focus on your mental health, you will be more present and supportive in all your roles, from being productive in your workplace to raising your kids. You will become a better worker, friend, husband, and father.
Author Bio:
Lauren Barry has extensive experience as a licensed marriage and family therapist. She is the National Director of Quality Assurance at We Level Up and the Owner/Therapist at Barry Happy Couples. Her expertise in mental health and commitment to helping individuals and families thrive makes her a trusted and compassionate voice in the field.
