Name: Brandon Shaw City: Fort worth TX| Instagram: @Klean_cut_shaw
What does being a father mean to you?
Describe your experience with your father growing up and how that impacted you today.
My father was sentenced to 99 years in prison when i was 5 years old, this sentence made him physically and emotionally unavailable. After 27 years in prison he cane home and we attempted to establish a relationship but die to both our inconsistent desires and inability to be held accountable me and my father don’t speak. The lack of this relationship has pushed me to always be available, mentally and physically. It has taught me understanding of mindsets and propelled me to be a better father than the one i have.
What things/tools/gems did you take from your experience growing up into your Fatherhood journey today?
The tools i took were being mentally understanding, meaning allowing them to process their emotions before forcing a conversation. Being slow to anger. Listening before criticizing, and making a safe space for all emotions that humans encounter.
Have you had any obstacles on your fatherhood journey? If so, explain.
What advice would you give other Fathers on their journey?
If you could write a quick letter to your father, starting with “Dear Father,” what would you say?
I would start it like this:
This is a testament to my understanding of our relationship. This is my point of view on how we got here.
What Is A Father?
I struggled with getting a title, because I like to understanding of the words, father and dad what’s the difference, the true definition of Father is a man in relation to his child or children. The definition of dad is “ones father.” The difference between the two is the formal and informal understanding of the Word. Father is described as a protector teacher and encourager a person who picks you up when you fall brushes you off and let you try again admired as much loved often referred to as sons first hero and daughters first love. If you asked me, that should be dad‘s informal definition. That is the informal term for father, simply because father is the biological term while dad is a real parent. Dad is their for their child as a persistent, loving force in their life while I father just refers to anyone who has a child takes real commitment and warmth to be a dad while the father might not even see his child regularly. While availability doesn’t determines your effort it definitely sets precedence on what’s important. The ability to be present carries a lot of intangibles, because as a father myself, I understand that duty calls, whether it be work, personal and mental escapes, or things that are completely out of your hand they definitely determine your availability. so with the understanding of these two definitions I question, why not dad’s day instead of Father’s Day? simply because the parameters around the holiday simply cater more to a dad than they do a father that was in that moment I understood that even when you don’t sometimes you need a participation trophy. Father’s job is to aide and assist to teach and correct when necessary, but most of all fathers job is to love unconditionally, even when counterparts make it impossible to be available never not show love.
