Name: Carmen Blanks City: Atlanta GA | @Camillia_milly, @bmmhc1
Dad’s Name: Dennis Haggins
Describe your relationship with your Father and how did that impact you?
My relationship with my father was pure. I think his presence alone provided for both my emotional and psychological development. God placed him in my life to specifically carry the role as “dad”. Having my father in my life provided a window of masculinity and I was able to see what protect and provide really looked like. I knew he held silent wins and admirable moments for me that he valued. His discipline came with a deep voice and no physical discipline for neither of us. His voice alone carried structure, guidance, support, discipline, and love.
What’s the best thing you’ve learned from your Father?
To keep God first, spend time with family and to work hard for everything you desire to have.
What struggles did you face in your relationship with your Dad and how did you get through them?
I think the biggest struggle was being able to separate my dad from being my mom’s husband and being my father. I feel those are two different roles. I made a conscious decision at a very young age to accept and charge my father with who he was to me as a father and that allowed me to love with no judgment.
What has your relationship with your Father taught you about what to look/not look for in your partner?
I learned to make sure that I inquire more into my partners upbringing. Learn more about what shaped and created the man that he has become. These very fine details I believe are often overlooked. As I look back, there is a lot about my dad’s childhood that is just a blank screen. With him now being deceased, only he can truly provide a window into what he experienced, how he made it through hardship, regrets and life desires.
How has your relationship with your Father shaped the woman you are today?
The positive relationship with a father instilled qualities of high self-esteem, confidence and sense self value and worth. Having my father present in my life, kept me from making decisions that would go against my morals and beliefs. I would think, “Oh my, what would my father say or think if I did this”.
In addition, the support and unwavering love from my dad allowed me to pursue my dreams and created a fearless, independent, resilient woman.
If you could write a short letter to your father, starting with “Dear Father,” what would you say?
Dear Father,
I wish I could have told you how much I loved you beyond the words themselves. I wish the day you told me, “You can’t save me”, that I could have responded with the words that punctured your heart that allowed you to know that I could provide the space and moment for you to feel safe and know that you can save yourself. I hope that you know that you are loved beyond the moon and back and I use everyday to save the next man that loses hope or chooses to give up. Daddy just know that I miss you and there is nothing I wouldn’t do to hear your voice again and hear you say, “Aww Shun Shun” or play on the phone. Only if I could rewrite the story, you would still be here. However, I can’t…so I leave you now to know that we will come together again and everything I never got to ask you before, I promise I won’t miss asking you when we see each other. Take care and know that you are more than a conqueror and your life and legacy lives on. I pray to continue to make you proud. Small wins daddy, small wins.
