Name: Conscious Lee | City: Oklahoma City OK | IG: @theconsciouslee
Take us through your thoughts the moment you realized your child was ready to come into this world.
Honestly it was a gradual realization from the time my wife told me we were pregnant 3 whole months into being married. At first the news made me feel proud because for the first time in my life the idea of pregnancy didn’t frighten me and though we were still broke, it was exhilarating feeling to know i was becoming a father. When my first born was ready to come into this world, all of the romanticized ideas of fatherhood was shaken with a reality check. Literally in the hospital after being there for over a day waiting on increase dilatation, a 50 hour labor that turned into a scheduled c-section for my wife. I felt anxiety, vulnerable, helpless because it wasn’t much I could do to help my wife with the abrupt news of a c-section as well as the pain she experienced up to the point.
What were your physical, mental, and emotional feelings while in the delivery room as your child was entering the world.
The complexity of feelings at that moment was hard to explain or even articulate now but my daughters birth was the first time I ever cried tears of joy.
Describe what it felt like holding your child for the first time?
I couldn’t believe I was a father and I was wrapping my mind around how I had contributed to creating another human.. lol I felt like whatever was coming with my baby girl being in the world, I’d be ready because her presence made me feel protective and brave!
Do you have any advice for fathers who are expecting for the first time?
Therapy, therapy, therapy… that little hurt boy inside of all deserves to heal and a lot of the childhood trauma, trials and tribulations as well as insecurities will be triggered or come up eventually in fatherhood. Therapy is great first step on uncovering, acknowledging and healing trauma that impacts us as men and fathers.
