Brandon Barnes Sr. says being a Father “means checking your pride and ego at the door”

Name: Brandon Barnes Sr. City: Raleigh NC | Instagram: @kingb919

What does being a father mean to you?

Being a father means checking your pride and ego at the door. Unlearning things you thought were effective from your childhood. Being selfless but learning to be intentional about your own happiness.

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Describe your experience with your father growing up and how that impacted you today.

My dad was always there. He worked hard and I always admired him for that. I definitely am like him in a lot of ways. I believe having an amazing wife/partner allowed me to see the things I needed to correct from what I learned growing up. The biggest thing I got from my dad is a father takes care of his family. I know now it’s much more than being a paycheck home but having that foundation made me the man I am today.

What things did you take from your experience growing up into your own fatherhood journey?

I only saw myself as being available financially and somewhat closed off emotionally. The world teaches us (black men) to hold in your emotions to not look weak. I’ve learned that having multiple outlets to vent and people to talk to helps me cope with everyday struggles and fears.

Have you had any obstacles on your fatherhood journey?


What advice would you give others new on their fatherhood journey?

Give yourself grace. If you have an open mind, you can adopt new ways to parent and not be tied to things you saw growing up that may be dis functional. Your kids will love you for it!

If you could write a quick letter to your father, starting with “Dear Father,” what would you say?

Dear Father,

Thank you for always being there for me and my brothers the best way you knew how. I know things weren’t always easy but you raised 4 amazing men!

List 5 fathers you cosign. (Add their IG names)




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