Name: Davion Rogers City: Fort Worth, Tx | IG: @Young_married_fitdad
What does being a father mean to you?
Being a father means being your families True north. Leading by not just what you say but how you operate. Teaching your kids from jump how to be a healthy human in today’s world. I also believe that the most important thing is to be a man of your word.
Describe your experience with your father growing up and how that impacted you today.
My relationship with my father was good overall. It was a struggle to build a solid relationship with him at first due to him not being in the home. So my examples of being a masculine man came later in life as I played sports and developed a better relationship with my father. It impacted how I wanted to parent my own children in almost every way. There was a major event my dad missed which hurt me as a child so I vowed to never miss events with my own children. I didn’t have a two parent household so I wanted to make sure I kept my family intake. I wanted to be just like my dad growing up so I knew how important it was to be a good example for my 4 boys.
What things did you take from your experience growing up into your own fatherhood journey?
The importance of patience. How your impatience can affect your child’s development as a child.
I’ve learned it’s important to communicate as much as possible so they feel comfortable talking to you the older they get.
I’ve learned that children are more observant than we think.
I’ve learned that you must still take time for yourself to recharge so you can have the energy to build with your children. They deserve the best version of you.
Never tell your child your going to show up if there’s a possibility you can’t. Their world crashes when you let them down.
Always do what you told them you will. If you continue to let them down. Eventually your promises mean nothing.
Kids will remember memories before a gift you give them. So create as many of these as possible.
I used to get frustrated with my toddlers if they did something wrong or bugged me to death. I started apologizing to them when I messed up and explaining that “daddy was frustrated “ to build the habit of doing it but also showing them to take ownership when they mess up.
With my teenage daughter we do monthly check ins called “circle of trust” where we talk about any and everything. Nothing is off limits. Start it off by allowing them to cuss or share a embarrassing secret to break the ice and let them know it’s a safe place to share. Never break this trust and share what’s being shared with anyone outside this circle. This has given our daughter the confidence to share more with us that should normally wouldn’t.
Have you had any obstacles on your fatherhood journey?
Balancing being a father of 5 with 4 under 4 years old and married. This has been one of the biggest obstacle because you have to remember to take time to work on your marriage without neglecting the kids. This is difficult when there’s no family around to help.
What advice would you give others new on their fatherhood journey?
Continue to look for ways to get better. Acknowledge that you won’t always get it right immediately but the goal isn’t to be perfect. The goal is to catch when you mess up and fix it as soon as possible
If you could write a quick letter to your father, starting with “Dear Father,” what would you say?
Thank you for everything. Thank you for being you. As I sit and think about who I am today I realize how much you played a part of that. I strived find be just like you in areas that I admired. Being charismatic, being the life of the room, kind at heart, taking care of your mom, and being there for family when they need you. Even tho you made mistakes when you were young having me I understand. I get it. I know how difficult it could have been to be a young man trying to build a family without truly knowing yourself. You did the best you could with what you knew. I’m grateful for you. I love you and I thank you for the good as well as the bad.
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