Breonna Stanciel says meeting her biological Father was “a life-changing moment for me”

Name: Breonna Stanciel City: Atlanta, GA | @breonnayvonne

Dads name: Roosevelt Griffin and Greg Edingburg

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Describe your relationship with your Father and how did that impact you?

I was raised by Roosevelt Griffin..we met when i was a couple months old and I’ve never known anything other than him and his love. He was stubborn, loving, a little impatient and hardworking. We argue but we understand each other. Right now our relationship is great, i love him so much.

But i found out at 18 that he wasn’t my biological father and since then I’ve been looking for him. I found him March 2021 and recently I met him in July. It was a life-changing moment for me. I never thought I would be able to see myself in someone else until then. I relationship is tricky, it’s new, it’s fresh, it’s different but it feels very familiar. We don’t talk as much as I would like but I know that he’s happy that I found him.

What’s the best thing you’ve learned from your Father?

my dad and I used to argue a lot when I was younger. We were argue about trivial things and sometimes about serious things. I’ve always felt like I was much more mature for my age and that I could have conversations that I probably shouldn’t of been having anyway. I never was one to back down even as a little girl. I always wanted to have my opinion voiced and I always wanted to feel understood. Growing up, I had a somewhat unstable up breaking. There were a lot of things that I shouldn’t have been exposed to and I think that my dad understood that, so I think that he gave me a lot of grace. I think that he also realized where he fell short too and we didn’t talk too much about it but it was like an understood thing with us. I think one of the struggles that I have with my biological father now is just maintaining our relationship. Everything is so new with us and it’s hard to remember how intentional we have to be in this new relationship. I see a lot of myself and him and that scares me.

What has your relationship with your Father taught you about what to look/not look for in your partner?

One of the things that I always look for in a partner is someone who can’t provide. My dad worked every single day and so he couldn’t work anymore. I’ve always seen him grind it out no matter what. My dad was able to make $10 last week and he always made something out of nothing. I think that is really important for me in any relationship that I have. However I also learned from him that a man should always be able to control their temper. I stay away or try my best to stay away from men who don’t know how to do that. I still fall short sometimes.

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How has your relationship with your Father shaped the woman you are today?

I think that my dad has made me a woman who knows how to work hard. He taught me to be independent and to not wait for anybody to do anything for me. He showed me how to love unconditionally and he show me how to be a helper to people. He really exemplified a person who would do anything for anyone. My dad would give someone his last dollar in still figure out a way to make a meal for his family. I think that without his guidance and his morals I wouldn’t be the selfless kind and loving person that I am today.

If you could write a quick letter to your father, starting with “Dear Father,” what would you say?

Dear father, I just want to say thank you. You came into my life when I was just a couple months old and right away you decided to love me. I can’t tell you how thankful I am that you chose me. Life wasn’t easy for us but you did the best that you could and it was more than enough. I’ve watched you help so many people from every walk of life and you did it without any hesitation. There will be times where I would be so annoyed and upset because I saw how they would take advantage of you but you never let that change your heart. You stayed true to who you are and i admire you so much for that. You sacrificed a lot for me and I don’t know if I ever told you how internally grateful I am for you. I wish that I could do more for you right now in this season of your life. I wish that things were different and that we had more time. I just want you to know that I love you more than anything. You are an amazing man, a standup guy and you have a heart of gold. Thank you so much for being my superman. I hope that you are proud of me.

To my other dad,

Thank you for embracing me. I know I came to you as such a surprise. Life has a funny way of keeping those things going huh? We have a long road in front of us but I’m hopeful that will create an unbreakable bond one day.

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Dana Kerns
Dana Kernshttps://dearfathers.com
An open space and story telling series for women to share stories about their black fathers and the impact the relationship has left on them.

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