Name: Tirrell Brooks | City: Des Moines Iowa, Phoenix AZ | IG @mr_fit_brooks
What does being a father mean to you?
Fatherhood to me is big to me because I was without mine for all of my childhood and some of my adult life. Being a father has changed my life and my daughters because I’m able to teach her what I did not have growing up and that’s confidence and respect. I love going to things like her recitals and gymnastics practice because the support matters. I never had that. I am teaching her that no matter who you are or what you do, that a fathers love is priceless.
Describe your experience with your father growing up and how that impacted you today.
My experience with my father was not the greatest. I had no father for most of my childhood and adult life. I learned a lot late, and I had no sense of direction besides my coach from high school. It’s impacted me to be involved in youth groups and behavioral environments for children that might not have had a father growing up. I was blessed that my mother gave me a lot but we all need both growing up because of certain teachings that we learn from man and woman. I’m so involved in my daughters life, and I do not use physical touch to teach my daughter I use experience and my close relationship with her for her to learn.
What things did you take from your experience growing up into your own fatherhood journey?
I was abused at times and it taught me to be patient and also be mindful of how I relay messages to my daughter. You can impact or relay a message differently through actions and consequences without violently contributing to generational teachings from our past. I’ve also taken from my journey that co-parenting is easier if you really look at it from the kids perspective. We just have to love and also be honest with our youth regardless of the circumstances. I don’t ever lie to her. If I can’t do something I don’t promise. That’ll give her an ever lasting impression that can result in let downs. I also teach her to be independent which has been great because she learns so much.
Have you had any obstacles on your fatherhood journey?
My only obstacle was that my child is not part of a two parent home and I didn’t like it and also that she was the result of poor decision making and no father because I was terrible when it came to the opposite sex. I made sure I was never going to let her feel we weren’t on the same page as parents.
What advice would you give others new on their fatherhood journey?
Advice wise I’d like to say that nothing you do is wrong, it matters in how you relay messages to the child. Make sure you know your kids and their tendencies. Just no excuses when it comes to them and life can be good but you’ll still have buns and bruises, but at least life can be more organized.
If you could write a quick letter to your father, starting with “Dear Father,” what would you say?
Dear Father,
I appreciate the lessons you taught me when I was younger at 5. I am intelligent because of the way you pushed the books on me. I wish I had you throughout my life as so many things I needed answered and learn how to do. I learned them on my own though. I still love you past your mistakes but I do it from a distance.
Love you pops.
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