Name: Malik K. Murray | City: Los Angeles, CA | IG: @Malikkmurray

What does being a father mean to you?

Fatherhood means that I’ve committed to showing up for my children no matter how flawed I am. Being a father constantly humbled me when I think I know it all. But equally pumps me up with good pride! Knowing that I am providing a culture of love, security, strength and protection in my home. Basically it means the world to me and I hope other fathers experience the joy of fatherhood.

Describe your experience with your father growing up and how that impacted you today.

My pops was hard working, disciplined, kind, and a loving man growing up. He was the neighborhood dad to those who had no father. He gave my peers courage, confidence, and wisdom just by lending a listening ear. A real champion for youth and especially his own kids. His presence taught me how to be present, show up, work hard, and spread love to those who seek it, ask for it, and knock on the door. Today I take those same lessons that I’ve learned from pops and pass them on to my children. His legacy lives with me and my siblings. Not saying he was perfect, but he showed up daily regardless of his flaws. For that, I’m grateful and am building upon his foundation.

What things did you take from your experience growing up into your own fatherhood journey?

Always workout, pray, and spread love no matter how difficult things look. I’ve taken this wisdom and apply it to my life today. Working out keep my body in check, praying invites God into my mess to convert it to a message, and spreading love is simple, the world needs more love no matter how you look it.

Have you had any obstacles on your fatherhood journey?

Absolutely! Being patient, vulnerable, and communicating. As a father, we are sometimes overlooked as a parent. That can weigh on the heart, mind, body and soul. It can lead to mental health issues if we don’t openly talk about our struggles. Many fathers struggle with depression but are too prideful to discuss these struggles. This breaks down the fiber or the family. Too often you see the family fall to pieces because the lack of support or communication. My struggles are no different. That’s why I make it a priority to take care of myself. Meditating, reading, running, and being still. I accept that I can’t control everything my children do or say. But I’m still there showing up.

What advice would you give others new on their fatherhood journey?

Just decide that you will show up no matter how flawed you are. You’re not going to have all the answers but your presence matters and is needed. Don’t give up on yourself because you’re not quite where you want to be right now. Be civil with your baby’s mom and/wife. Stay calm under pressure cooler heads always prevail and stand out from the crowd. Talk to younger fathers about your struggles along your journey. Learn from those who are great fathers but develop your own style of parenting. Lastly, workout, pray, and spread love.

If you could write a quick letter to your father, starting with “Dear Father,” what would you say?

Dear Pops,

Thank you for putting us first and showing up daily when you had self doubt. I’m honored to be your son and to have learned such great lessons from watching, listening, and experiencing your presence. I appreciate every single lesson you taught and am passing it down to your grandson and granddaughter. I know you didn’t get the chance to meet them but know that they are experiencing your legacy. A legacy filled with joy, inner peace, wisdom, and strength.

Because of you I know what it means to be present in my children’s lives. Thank you once again for your love, compassion, and discipline. Please know that you are missed but never forgotten. Rasheen, Ade, myself and many more young fathers in Philadelphia and across the globe are all fearless fathers because of you.

Miss you Pops!

From Malik and Pops Boyz! ????

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