Name: Ray Donovan | City: Santa Monica, California | IG: @RayDonovanfit
What does being a father mean to you?
To me, being a father is being a provider. Now I don’t solely mean provider in the monetary sense, but a provider of Unconditional love, guidance, & nurture. When I look at the fathers in my life this is what I’ve seen and taken in. Whether to your significant other, child, or anyone else as a father these are the pillars of the title.
Describe your experience with your father growing up and how that impacted you today.
My dad & I have a very close & loving relationship. Growing up to now, my father has always been there for me. He would break his back to see me happy coming up. He would adjust his busy life & schedule just to make my sports events just so he would never miss a game. Bad or good my dad was always there for me. I was also always able to talk to my dad about anything & everything. Even the hard talks he was always there with knowledge, love, & unbiased advice to help me see things though. These are the cornerstones to what I will give to my daughter. I will always be a shoulder to lean on, an ear when she needs a listen, & through it all, there unconditionally.
What things did you take from your experience growing up into your own fatherhood journey?
Always be there. My father (parents) were always there for me. I think that really makes a difference I’m a child’s life. It does not matter your financial, economic, or social situation, if you give time & really engage with your child it will make the world of difference in their lives.
Have you had any obstacles on your fatherhood journey?
One obstacle in particular has been the locations of my wife & I. My wife is from Edmonton, Canada & I am from New York. We decided to move to Canada to start our lives with her being sick with Lyme disease. But, when I received a huge training opportunity in LA we decided to move there. Shortly after the move little Poppy would be on the way & we decided to have her in Canada. After her birth we would move back to LA after her initial check ups. I went back to LA to continue with clients and scout a bigger home for our new little family, but shortly after Covid hit. With the boarders closed I would be separated from my family for 4 months & our plans would be put on hold for the time being. But I did not use that time to sit & sulk. I began different ways of expanding my business to make a better life for my family. The boarders have reopened in Canada for family members & I’ve been with them in Alberta ever since.
What advice would you give others new on their fatherhood journey?
A little effort goes a long way. It’s just like anything else. If you put effort into what you are doing, to whatever “it” is will be better. Just try. If you want to eat better & lose prep your meals instead of eating fast food. A little effort makes a HUGE difference. My wife see’s/feels my efforts it makes her happy & makes our relationship stronger. My daughter see’s/feels my efforts & it creates a positive, loving, & nurtured feeling for her. Effort is what it takes to be a great parent. A great father.
If you could write a quick letter to your father, starting with “Dear Father,” what would you say?
Thank you for always reminding me that I am worth it. That I am strong. That I am talented. Thank you for instilling in me that I am enough & I can do anything I put my mind to. Thank you for being there for me when I was lost; you were always able to help me through.
Name some other fathers you cosign.