This year has been draining to say the least. What started with the death of Kobe Bryant to the announcement of COVID-19 and now the cancellations of some* college football–it’s safe to say we all are more than ready to get this year over with. Also, let’s not forget this is an election year! GO VOTE ON NOVEMBER 3RD!!
It’s easy to point out the negatives of 2020, but some cool, beneficial moments have taken place as well. Many people are able to spend more time with family or discover new hobbies for themselves. For the first time in a long time, people seem to finally be listening to the cry and sorrows of oppressed individuals. This year is far from perfect. It has brought on many obstacles and defeats for us all. We still have a long ways to go. Especially the individuals coined with the name, “frontline heroes”. These individuals are taking care of the patients of COVID-19 at a very high risk. Doctors, nurses, and health care professionals have dealt with the pandemic head first. We at DearFathers.com appreciate everyone of you! We caught up with “frontline hero”, Delonte Lynch, who also wears the hats of Husband, Father and ‘anime nerd’.
Tell us a little about yourself (who you are, background, etc)
My name is Delonte Lynch. I’m originally from Prince George’s County, Maryland. I’m a military brat. We moved around a lot but never overseas. I currently reside in Houston, TX where I work as a telemedicine ICU registered nurse. I’m married to my high school sweetheart and love of my life. We have an amazing daughter that is entering her “Terrible Twos”. I enjoy multiple hobbies like watching Formula 1 racing, talking stocks & bonds, traveling, anime, and discovering new restaurants around town.
What lead you to pursue your career?
I’m a third-generation nurse, so growing up, that’s all I knew. I’m asthmatic and spent a lot of time in and out of the hospital as a child. My freshman year at University of Texas-Arlington, I attempted to take courses in other studies but ultimately ended up in nursing. It was the concept I easily grasp and thrived in. I was the only black male to graduate from my class. There’s not many of us in the profession so I work to be a true advocate for patients who looks like me.
This year has been tough for everyone but especially people working in the medical industry. How have you managed dealing the pandemic and what have you and your wife done to keep your family safe?
We live in Texas so of course we have guns. LOL! We are both healthcare professionals so we’re always up to date on the most recent evidence-based practices when it comes to COVID-19. My Wife & I enjoy the slower pace of life. We are enjoying the extra time spent with our family. Whether it’s walks around the neighborhood, me sharpening my grilling skills (want some cedar planked salmon, I got you), and/or saving money! We truly have been enjoying each other’s company. I do want to note that we are blessed because we’re both healthcare providers and our child’s daycare has never closed.
What was your fatherhood experience like growing up and how did that impact you today?
My parents were married until I was about 8 years old. I lived with my mother and haven’t really kept in contact with my father. Often, single mothers are mad and speak negatively about the father, but my mom did not. I didn’t experience the key father-son moments that’s needed for adolescents. I did’t get “the talk” about sex and girls. I didn’t learn how to shave, how to change a car’s oil, or how to grill. But thank you YOUTUBE, LOL!
It sucks not having a father in your life, but life goes on. You adapt and learn from other’s mistakes. You treat your offspring the way you wanted to be treated as a child. Because of that, I have no anger against him, but I do feel he could’ve done better. I’m his only son and he didn’t show up to my wedding. At that moment, it weighed heavy on me, but I’ve moved on. I try to be the best father and husband I can be. It takes one day at a time. What I saw in my father is what I did not want to be. I try to get out my bed each day with the intent to map a better future for my daughter.
Have you embraced the term ‘Girl Dad’ (RIP, Kobe)? What are some things you’ve discovered about yourself now that you have a daughter?
I love the term Girl Dad! Women are amazing, which is an understatement. I know I can’t be pregnant during the Texas summer and still working full time (shoutout to my wife)! I’ve learned many things about myself just being a dad. Upon self-reflection, I learned that in many ways I was selfish, only thinking about my wants and needs. Having a child exposes flaws that you may have not been noticed prior to children. A plethora of thoughts befuddle my brain when it comes to my daughter’s future like the sex talk, boys, starting a menstrual cycle, and many other topics. All in all, over the past two years, I’ve learned patience.
What’s wrong with the narrative displayed about black fathers and what things do you do to help change that narrative?
Off the top of my head, I can only think of 3 black people that own TV networks (P. Diddy, Oprah, Tyler Perry). So of course, the narrative will not be in favor for a black father. History shows that “the powers that be” do not want to see a “full” black family thrive from welfare, prisons, etc. I know this is the Trump era, but I still like to practice facts. Recently, there was a study that showed when black fathers are involved in their children’s lives–they were rated among the best throughout multiple categories in raising the child. What do I do? I simply live and love. I’m not big on social media but when you see me, I’m with my family and I truly enjoy every moment of it. I have had conversations with single men and I harp on the fact that being an active father is a wonderful thing. It is hard but it’s your child so treasure your child.
Name your top TV dad of all time and explain why?
This is kind of a funny question because as aforementioned we don’t have the platform to show many black dads on TV. I will go against the grain (because of recent times) but in the moment it was Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable (Bill Cosby). There is a plethora of reasons like he was a doctor, easy going parenting style yet firm when needed. Also, he promoted HBCUs!
Sidenote: For my anime nerds, Minato Namikaze would have been a great father!
What advice would you give someone that’s new on the fatherhood journey?
Find mentors! I have 3 fathers I go to every other week to bounce around ideas, vent, and learn from (their children are older than mine). Again, fatherhood is hard. You have to put in the work and properly plan for your child’s future. Before my daughter, I lived day to day with no structure. Nowadays, I have 5 to 10-year plans set up for my daughter. We know what schools we want our child to attend, we’ve set up a 529 plan, started a LLC, along with many other future endeavors. Be present. Be active and have fun. Life is short. Believe me, I’m a nurse.
If you could write a short letter to your father starting with “Dear Father,” what would you say?
I ask why did you get my hopes up saying you would take me to Six Flags but never showed up? Why did you leave my freshman year of high school without saying goodbye? Why did you not come to my wedding? I am a man. You are a man. I am your only son, just why? Now my energy can’t be focused on the past. I can only move forward and that’s what I will do.
Anything else you would like to add or want readers to know?
If you have a food spot in your area, feel free to let me know, LOL! Oh, shoutout to my wonderful wife, Bianca Lynch! She is amazing, I love you baby!
How can folks connect with you?