Name: Matthew Kirby | City: San Francisco Bay Area | Instagram: @MeAnd3Kirbys

What does being a father mean to you?

A father is someone who not only protects, profess and provides for his children but also someone who is a teacher, mentor, therapist, psychologist and any other hat that is needed to ensure that a child has a healthy and supportive upbringing.

Describe your experience with your father growing up and how that impacted you today.

I didn’t have much of an experience growing up with my father. I met him for the first time in 2019. I knew I wanted to be the opposite of absent:present.

What things did you take from your experience growing up into your own fatherhood journey?

I want to make sure I had a presence in my children’s lives not just be present.
I want to have a tangible impact and be an inspiring role model that could be admired.
I want to my children to know both sides of their family.

Have you had any obstacles on your fatherhood journey? If so, explain.

I think the biggest obstacles are naturally apart of the learning curve.
I also think that managing the different identities, for me were critical too: individual, husband, father to a girl, father to a boy.

What advice would you give others new on their fatherhood journey?

I would say there’s no such thing as being “ready”. You literally have to take it one day at a time. Having all the money, career progression, etc. doesn’t constitute or imply that you will be a better father than someone who is still working on those things. Stop taking parenting advice from childless adults ASAP!

If you wanted to write a quick note to your father, starting with “Dear Father,” what would it be?

Dear Father,

Thank you for having a critical part in my conception. Thank you for your absence, it has taught me to define and manifest what I’ve come to know as presence. Thank you for being engaged now, better late than never.

PS: I’m not mad at you like children in a typical fatherless situation. Let’s start NOW and move forward. Life is too short!

PSS: Do I have any siblings? Love, Matt

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